Psalm 13:1-6 How Long?
David is struggling. He has been waiting for what seems like FOREVER! “How long do I have to wait? Is it time yet?”
Oh boy can I identify with this psalm! One of my older sayings was, “God will act at just the right time but I wonder if He needs to wind His watch.” This was my way of saying “How much longer”, “Is it time yet” and “How long O Lord”. I’m not so free with those statements anymore because I find they set me up for worry and fuel my impatience. I DON’T need ANY help in that area!
David had a right to wonder. He was on the run from Saul for more than ten years. Far more than ten if you count the first time Saul started acting out against David; being offended by the people’s praise of David and hurtling things at him. David was told that he would be king but all he saw was fleeing and trying to keep one step ahead of Saul’s army.
We know that David asked God “how much longer” it would be. His psalm today makes that clear. But how often did he ask? Did he check in daily with the question, “Is it time yet”? Or was it only on cold and lonely nights that this question captured his undivided attention?
This psalm could have come from many different points in David’s life. While trying to figure out his Bathsheba issue. After his sin with counting the people. When a battle wasn’t going as expected. While running from Absalom. Any time where he felt his relationship with God being strained. David was quick to repent, or at least we know he was once he was confronted. But did he receive restoration immediately? Or did God sometimes make him wait? Maybe he had to wait until after he made amends and that felt like a long time.
Is it possible that David suffered from a lack of patience? He seems to have had all the patience in the world when it came to waiting for his seat on the throne. But was that patience or reverence for God’s anointed king at the time? Maybe it was also fear that God might strike him if he took matters into his own hands.
After David’s “How long” there came the revelation that was there ALL along. “But I have trusted in You steadfast love; my heart shall rejoice in Your salvation. I will sing to the Lord, because He has dealt bountifully with me” (verses 5-6). David didn’t get a text from God saying “circle this date” but he received comfort in his spirit none the less. He was reminded of ALL the things God had already done for him during the waiting. He saw his journey through clear eyes. He wasn’t just hanging out and waiting. He was walking the little steps with God all along and making his way to the big ones together. This way the “how long” became a “what’s next” instead.
“What lessons do I still need before I reach the point set out?” EACH one along the way is important. They prepare me for what waits ahead. I cannot expect to ‘graduate’ on the first day of school. I need each and every lesson to be confident in the job God has for me.
Sometimes I wish He would pass out a ‘class syllabus’ so I would know what to expect. But then do I REALLY want to know about all the ‘tests’ waiting in the wings? Probably not. I would be doing like I normally do and counting down the milestones until the end. The problem there is that my actions most likely put the ‘end’ further down the ‘testing line’ as new areas that need learning/adjusting crop up. I would need a ‘revised syllabus’ more times than I care to count! Instead I will continue to do as David did. I will look back at the journey we have made so far and trust God to continue His steadfast love for me. I will “keep walking” and hold tightly to His hand.
Father God, thank You that NEVER really leave me. Sometimes You are quiet but I am not alone. Help me remember that in the quiet times. Remind me of the steps we have already taken and their results. I KNOW I am a LONG way from the woman I used to be. The ‘hot head’ is MUCH quieter. My patience has grown too. Thank You for all the lessons so far. And please be gentle with me as we head for the upcoming ones.
