The truth may not always look pretty, but KNOWING the truth brings clarity. From that point you can move forward. With a lie, you are still lost.
As I sit thinking about our text today I was wondering what the Holy Spirit would have me to take from it. I was thinking about kisses. How they can have SO MANY different reasons. The kiss of a mother on her child in pain is meant to bring comfort. A lover’s kiss is meant to increase passion and desire. A father’s kiss demonstrates pride. The first kiss on the face of your newborn speaks of hope, love, and commitment for the life of the child. Judas’ kiss meant identification and betrayal.
My bible helps tells me that the kiss referred to here may have two meanings. “It is either an act of homage (e.g., those who have not kissed Baal, or an act of affection (e.g., Esau kissed Jacob upon their meeting. Either sense fits the verse well in that an honest answer treats the other person involved with both respect and affection”
We give these kinds of kisses quite often, or at least I do. My kisses are more in the “affection” realm than the “homage” realm. I kiss my parents when I haven’t seen them for some time. I do the same with my children, grandchildren, and friends who I am very close to. I suppose the kisses for my parents also carry with them the honor due their role in my life. They deserve ‘compound’ meaning to our exchanges.
So, what does that have to do with the truth? MOST kisses are not lies. And when a kiss is received, the recipient usually expects the giver to be acting out of one of the above reasons. Deceitful kisses harden the heart while truthful kisses open it. Lies shut our hearts too. Just as truthfulness opens it.
I was just watching Season 3, Episode 6 of the Chosen. Simon Peter and his wife, Eden, have been experiencing trouble between them. Every interaction is stilted and forced. It is obvious to anyone the Eden is upset. Peter has asked what he has done, he has tried to apologize for “whatever it is”, and he has commiserated with Gaius, the main Roman soldier in the series. Nothing he has done has resolved the distance between them.
Peter walks in the home while Eden is finishing washing her hair. As he relays the exciting news of the healings Jesus did that day, Eden lets the truth fall from her lips. “I’ve lost the baby.” Peter is floored. He is hurt that his wife didn’t tell him earlier, is astounded that she didn’t even tell him she was “with child”, is grieving the loss of his child, wonders why this has happened to the two of them, and questions why Jesus even called him to begin with. Why would Jesus call him away when his wife needed him?
The scene, and episode, concludes with the two of then kneeling on the floor holding one another. Peter says to Eden; “Now you are comforting me.” Her reply is “I’ve had longer to get used to it.” Painful as this truth was, it restored the bond between the two of them. The distance is removed even if the pain isn’t. Now they will face their future together and search for answers as one.
The truth isn’t always ‘pretty’ or uplifting. Sometimes it can be crushing. The truth of Judas’ motives for kissing Jesus was crushing. It probably would have been even more so if Jesus hadn’t known of it before it even happened. The disciples wouldn’t understand the true meaning of that kiss until much later. That truth let them see all the past deceit in a clear light. In the telling of all the gospel accounts, when Judas’ name is mentioned, it is done so with some kind of explanation of what was to come. They didn’t omit Judas from the story but they made sure we were aware of what was to come. They told us the truth.
The truth is honored above most everything else in a relationship. Lies drive wedges between people. Suspicion creeps in and the parties wonder what else they have been told that was a lie. Trust is broken, and it will NEVER be as strong as it was initially. There will always be a little bit of doubt lingering. It can be rebuilt though, even from the severest blows. It will be different and fragile as it grows. But with time and consistent honesty, it can bind the relationship together again. And from a place of truth, you can move forward from a sure foundation.
I will admit here and now that I have not always been consistent with the truth. I have matured out of those tendencies throughout my years. The hardest part for me now is when the pure truth hurts. This is especially true with my husband. He has SO MANY wants and dreams that are honestly never going to come true. He honestly believes that he can do whatever he puts his mind to. Rebuilding an OLD car, building a shop, even driving again. I DO NOT want to crush his spirit but I do want to avoid the “I need to buy…”, the “I can to do it. You weren’t watching when I…” and “The doctor did it…” arguments that ensue when he goes down these paths. I have to strike a balance between total honesty and avoiding the subject. I do my absolute BEST not to lie to him but I also don’t always reveal ALL I know. And I know that I have probably already told you this, but it was on my heart again.
I need God’s wisdom in this area of my life, especially knowing that this problem is not going to go away but actually get worse over time. I want our foundation to be firm as we continue our lives together. Do my “Smile and wave boys” attitude or shrewd answers weaken this foundation? How do I shore it up without crushing him in the process? If you are inclined to pray for me, I would definitely welcome them in this area!
Father God, thank You for Your forgiveness for the lies I have tried to pass off in the past, for the ones I haven’t remembered and brought to You, and to any that lie ahead in my life. I give them ALL to You. Teach me from their experience without letting Satan beat me over the head with them. When I’m tempted to beat myself up over them, remind me of Your forgiveness again.
Help me know EXACTLY how to handle each of my husband’s desires. Give me the words that will sooth his spirit without crushing it. Give me insight into what is beneath the request and help me be able to meet it in a safe environment. Keep me listening AND answering with a heart of love!