Proverbs 16:32 Spirit Tamer
Solomon shares something very deep with us today. The one who can tame his spirit is MIGHTY indeed. An internal battleground instead of external.
My bible helps has this verse and the next one standing alone. At first I thought about combining them but their themes are very different. So we will take each one and look as close as we can at them. See where the Spirit leads us.
I want to apologize first because the day has slipped away from me. It is my husband’s birthday and with all we had going on, I find it is bedtime before I got to sit down with the word. If I sound strange, go off on weird tangents, or make no sense at all, chalk it up to a day that ran too long.
When I was first looking at this verse it didn’t really speak to me. Solomon has spoken of the man who is slow to anger before. I certainly identified with that concept. I had to learn how to conquer my own hot temper. But how does doing so make one “mighty”?
I started thinking about the ‘battle grounds’ covered in these verses. The one who is slow to anger and rules his spirit fights an internal battle. The mighty warrior and the one who takes a city fights externally.
I would assume that there are MANY of us who fight internal battles of one kind or another. You are NEVER far away from the ‘battle’. It follows you wherever you go; even into your dreams. There is never a cease fire because of a holiday. And seldom is the war ever completely over. Skirmishes pop back up at the most unexpected times. Granted, some battles are easier than others to obtain significant victory over but some feel as if there will NEVER be an end and if there is an end it will be in defeat. I feel ‘heavy’ even as I say this.
An external battle has defined enemies. It has rules of engagement. They aren’t always followed but there is recourse when there aren’t. Most combatants serve for a limited amount of time. They have weapons designed specifically for the task required of them. I want to say that wars eventually end but I’m not certain of that anymore. Some wars have ended but others have gone on unending, changing tactics and alliances along the way. The battles Israel fought could point to a victor and a loser. And it was clear when the work was done. Battle done, move on to the next one.
In both types of ‘battle grounds’ there are injuries. In the beginning with the ‘anger battle’ many of the injuries are inflicted upon others. They get the brunt of the unrestrained anger. Sometimes it is physical lashing out and other times it is verbal. Both can leave permanent scars. Even with anger run amuck, the individual releasing it is hurting themselves too. They have to live with the consequences of their actions. They have to carry the memories and the guilt for their behavior. The only victory in this specific battle ground comes through learning how to calm the fire of anger. Learning how to sooth the perceived hurts so they don’t erupt.
In the ‘depression battle’ the majority of the wounds belong to the individual but if it is long lived those around suffer too. Others often try to help solve the problem but they can’t. It is an internal battle that sometimes has deadly consequences.
The ‘perfection battle’ is one of my biggest struggles now. I’ve face all the above and then some but this battle haunts me. It isn’t limited to one area of perfection but rears up is so many different ways that I’ve lost count. This one has more personal wounds but it does spill over onto others. Those who love the person fighting this war feel helpless. They try to help, but this too is an internal battle that has to be waged by the one.
With external battles the wounds are initially more obvious. Missing limbs, shrapnel wounds, gunshot wounds, and so many other injuries including death. These wounds are visible to the outside world. People may be afraid to ask about the injuries but they are worn where all can see. But the external is not where the wounds end. Many combatants have internal ‘wounds’ that they will carry with them the rest of their lives. They have to face many of the same battles I just listed on top of their external scars. We don’t see the internal scars spoken of in the bible but experience has shown us that they are there.
Solomon points out the final outcome for the victors of both ‘battle fields’. He points to the final tally and not the journey that it took to get there. He weighs the cost though and finds that the internal battle alone is more demanding than the obvious demands of the external battle.
I will tell you right now that I could NEVER win these internal battles on my own. I mentioned earlier that others try to help but they most often can’t. There is only ONE help in these battles. It is my Lord and Savior. He faced these same battle fields. We are told that He was tested in every way that we are so I KNOW He walked these battle fields too. He was victorious! And HE promises to walk with me in my ‘battle fields’ until I receive victory too.
He is there to lean on when I feel I can’t stand any longer. He carries me when I can’t walk. He soothes my angry heart and teaches me how to do it myself. When I feel completely unlovable He lavishes me with love anyway. He tells me that I am His NO MATTER WHAT. Even when I mess up again and Again and AGAIN He stays right beside me. One day at a time, He soothes my wounds. He helps me see the strength I have gained in the journey and it gives me hope to carry on. He is my Rock.
A couple more things I want to share too before I go is this. 1) Having to fight internal battles does not make me “crazy”, it makes me human. 2) Taking medication to assist in these battles does not make me weak or my faith absent. God created doctors. He gave us knowledge on how to help people heal. Using all the tools at my disposal is my surest way to victory. Imagine a soldier who refuses to use a rifle because he can’t always see where every bullet goes. 3) My ‘victory’ may never be complete but my struggle gives me strength. I only fail when I refuse to keep trying. I’m a success as long as I get up one more time than I fall down.
Father God, THANK YOU that I am not alone in my ‘battles’. You are right beside me. There have been times I haven’t “felt” Your strength in the moment but I have ALWAYS KNOWN that You are with me. THANK YOU for keeping me from taking myself from this world. Somehow YOU gave me the strength to go on one more day, and then another and another. The ‘battle’ is much easier today. Only because of YOU. Thank You from the depths of my soul.
