Genesis 21 Jealousy

Jealousy was woven into the very fabric of this family and would be the thread that would tear it apart. Sarah and Hagar had been jealous of one another from the moment Sarah placed her in Abraham’s arms.

For 13 years Hagar could lord it over Sarah that she had born a child to Abraham. That she was a mother when Sarah remained childless. Sarah treated Hagar badly enough that she ran away when she was pregnant. But God told her to come back and submit to Sarah. We don’t know if Sarah’s ways changed after that, but we know the two women’s relationship didn’t go back to the way it was beforehand.

When Isaac was born, that shifted the relationship again. Sarah was now on ‘even footing’ with Hagar. They both had born a son to Abraham. We are not told how the two children got on with each other. Ishmael’s “laugh” could have been about anything! But Sarah saw it as a threat to her son’s future. As long as Ishmael remained, Isaac would have ‘second place’ in Abraham’s heart. Sarah would NOT stand for this! Hagar had to go, and take Ishmael with her. Let’s join in the story and watch what God does with this mess.

♥ ♦ ♥

Sarah has been wrapped up in Isaac’s life from the very moment she knew she was pregnant. Everything she did was about and for him. What she ate, how she slept, the clothes she wore, etc.… The first time she nursed him her heart swelled with unspeakable joy! She always knew she wanted to mother but this experience was beyond her wildest imagination. It didn’t matter how many times she had to rise in the night to tend to her child, Sarah enjoyed every moment they were together.

Sarah cherished every new milestone in her son’s life. His first smile, his first word, his first tooth, his first attempt at crawling, his first steps, and so on. What she did not cherish was the slow pulling away that each of these milestones brought. If Sarah could have held Isaac fast to her forever, it would have considered it bliss. But as a mother, she KNEW he had to go through these changes. No one remains a babe forever; unless something is very wrong with them.

As much as these changes hurt, they also were a joy. Sarah never failed to point them out to Abraham. “Look what your son is doing now” she would say with laughter in her voice and eyes. When Isaac was able to take his first steps, she spent days having him walk short distances between she and Abraham; cheering with every step.

Abraham loved watching his son grow too. He had been unable to fully enjoy these experiences with his son Ishmael because of Sarah’s jealousy. Whenever Sarah thought he was paying too much attention to Hagar and her son, Sarah always found a way to draw him away. She would have a need only he could fill, or she would send Hagar on an immediate task. Whatever it took to keep the ‘wedge’ between them.

Once Ishmael was old enough to begin helping in the fields, there wasn’t anything she could do that would prevent Abraham from spending time with his son. At least she made certain Abraham would never have any more children with Hagar. One was MORE than enough for her to have to deal with.

Abraham was careful with his relationship with Ishmael. He knew it was a thorn in Sarah’s side, but he loved his son! He taught him everything he could. He even circumcised him as God had commanded. And interceded on Ishmael’s behalf to allow him to be the son of promise. But God said no. That didn’t dim Abraham’s love for him though.

But there was something more in his relationship with Isaac. He was a child of love; not one of convenience. Abraham’s heart was FILLED to overflowing watching Isaac grow.

Sarah lingered longer in weaning Isaac than many mothers did. She wanted to keep him close to her as long as possible. As he was nearing his fourth birthday Abraham decided it was time to address the issue.

“Don’t you think it’s about time you weaned him” Abraham asked as Sarah pulled Isaac onto her lap and bared her breast for him to access her milk.

“He needs me” she pleaded.

“Sarah, he will ALWAYS need you. But he also needs to grow up. He cannot remain a child forever.”

Sarah stared down at her son’s mass of dark curls as he nursed. She watched his eyes as they looked about. She knew in her heart that this time with him was more about her than it was about him. He was receiving plenty of nutrition from the table. He had no physical need for her milk. She watched him a little longer as his eyes began to close in sleep. This was how she put him to sleep each night. He would fight until her warm milk filled him and her nearness calmed his growing spirit.

“This is the only way I can get him to sleep at night” she whispered.

“Have you tried just holding him” asked Abraham. “You need to at least try.”

Sadness filled Sarah’s eyes as she thought about her husband’s instructions. “Give me a few more weeks. Then I will do as you say.”

“One week Sarah” Abraham said with a whisper for Isaac’s sake. But the look in his eyes left no doubt of the seriousness of his command.

As the days of her ‘final week’ progressed, Sarah fought with the sadness that making this change brought to her mind. By the end of the week, she was ready for it to be done. Her sadness also had an unexpected affect on Isaac. He began nursing less and snuggling more. He was actually weaning himself.

Abraham was watching their progress too. He was pleased to notice his son choosing other forms of comfort instead of Sarah’s breast. On the final day of Sarah’s “one week” Abraham watched as Sarah readied Isaac for bed.

Sarah drew Isaac onto her lap as she had done every day of his life. This time though she didn’t offer him her breast. Instead, she gently stroked his hair. She wound a curl around her finger several times and simply stared lovingly into his eyes. Within minutes Isaac was sound asleep. Sarah looked up at Abraham with a mixture of emotion playing on her face. A single tear made its way down her cheek, while her smile spoke of Isaac’s latest milestone.

Abraham held Sarah’s gaze, knowing what this had cost her. Abraham quietly approached mother and son and placed a soft kiss on each of their foreheads. He then reached down and lifted the sleeping child from his mother’s lap and placed Isaac on his own pallet. This was another milestone that they had recently crossed; Isaac sleeping in his own place instead of between his parents.

Morning came quickly, as it always does with young children. At breakfast, Abraham made an announcement.

“Today is a special day!”

“Why Abba? Are we going to see the donkeys?” asked Isaac. He was bouncing on his knees as he readied for whatever his aba had in store for them.

“We can certainly see the donkeys but that is not what makes this day special. You made this day special.”

Isaac tilted his head sideways and thought about his aba’s words. “Is it my birthday” asked Isaac with a hint of suspicion. He knew it was coming, but he was sure it wasn’t today.

“No my boy” Abraham laughed. “It is a different kind of special. Do you remember going to sleep last night?”

Isaac thought for a second then vigorously nodded his head.

“Do you remember that you didn’t nurse from your Ima but simply fell asleep in her arms?”

Isaac looked at his ima and remembered the soft caresses of her hand and how it felt when she ran her fingers through his hair. A smile lifted the corners of his mouth as he thought about her touch. Then he remembered that he hadn’t nursed. And that he hadn’t missed it either. His eyes shone and his little head began bobbing up and down as if dancing on his neck.

Abraham and Sarah both laughed at his antics.

“That is what makes this a special day” said Abraham. “You have been weaned” Abraham announced with as much excitement in his face and voice as he could inject.

Isaac, caught up in his aba’s excitement jumped up and began dancing about the room. “I have been weaned” he shouted as he danced. After a moment he stopped and looked at his aba. “What does ‘weaned’ mean” he asked with curiosity drawing his brows together.

“It means you are growing up” said his ima with a huge smile on her face. “No longer are you a nursing infant but a growing boy.”

Isaac thought about this for a minute then he returned to his dancing. “I’m a growing boy” he shouted as he whirled about the room.

“Growing boys need to eat their meals too, so they can keep growing” Abraham called to him.

Isaac quickly returned to the table and resumed eating his breakfast with vigor.

“I think a celebration is in order for our growing boy” Abraham said; looking to both Isaac and Sarah for agreement. Both heads nodded. One more vigorously than the other. “Good. I will begin the preparations right away!”

“I think I will bake some of my famous cakes too” volunteered Sarah.

Isaac’s eyes glowed with excitement. “When can I eat them!”

“Today; at evening meal” replied Abraham. “We will make it a celebration for the whole camp. And YOU my boy will be the guest of honor!”

Isaac was up and dancing again in an instant. Sarah and Abraham both laughed at the sight of their ‘growing boy’.

Abraham left as soon as their meal was finished to make the announcement and preparations for the evening’s festivities. Isaac was placed in the watchful hands of one of the servants while Sarah began her portion of the preparations.

“I want to watch Ima” Isaac initially whined, but as soon as the servant arrived with her own ‘growing boy’ Isaac was more than happy to be off. Sarah breathed a sigh of relief when his boundless energy exited the tent with him.

It took all day to finish everything for Isaac’s celebration. Sarah made certain to bring him in for a nap so he would have energy for the evening. Isaac resisted sleep and Sarah almost gave in to one more time of nursing, but stopped herself at the last moment. Instead, she stroked his hair and gazed into his eyes until he settled down to sleep. “I almost blew it” she thought as she laid Isaac down on his pallet to sleep.

When Isaac woke from his nap, he ran to his ima. “Did I miss it” he asked with sleep in his eyes and near tears in his voice.

“No my growing boy. I would not let you sleep through your own celebration. Another hour or so and you will be the guest of honor” Sarah says while bringing Isaac in for a reassuring hug.

When the time finally arrived, Isaac was the life of the party. Abraham called him to himself as he stood before the company. “I would like to introduce you to my ‘growing boy’ Isaac. You have know him as a nursing infant until today. But he has been weaned and we are celebrating his transition. Rejoice with us and celebrate with our ‘guest of honor’ at our table.”

Isaac jumped in the air and began dancing around.

“Music! My growing boy needs music for his dance” called Abraham.

As Isaac continued to dance, Sarah glanced over to where Ishmael was standing. Ishmael was watching Isaac’s dance and laughing. Sarah instantly surmised that Ishmael was laughing at Isaac. The smoldering jealousy she felt against Hagar and Ishmael roared to life. Her eyes narrowed and she vowed that this would NEVER happen again; Ishmael laughing at Isaac. She would put a stop to this; permanently. But she had to be the hostess for now. Sarah pushed the burning jealousy down and plastered a smile on her face. The smile only faltered when she looked in Hagar or Ishmael’s direction. She tried her best NOT to look towards them the rest of the evening.

Once the celebration was over, Sarah took Isaac into their tent to put him to bed. He was so excited that she had to work extra hard to quiet him.

“Did you see me dancing” Isaac asked as he pushed himself back from Sarah’s embrace.

“I did! You dance wonderfully. But it is time for sleep now” Sarah soothingly cooed.

“What do ‘growing boys’ do next ima” asked Isaac, pushing away again.

“They go to sleep so they can wake rested in the morning” admonished Sarah with a smile.

Isaac nodded and snuggled back into his ima’s embrace. A few minutes later, Sarah lays him gently on his pallet.

Abraham has stayed out instructing the servants in the clean-up while he bids the last of their guests’ good night. Sarah slips out of the tent and stares at her husband. Abraham noticed Sarah’s presents immediately but didn’t move to her right away. He had things that needed attending to. The longer Sarah waits the more intense her stare becomes. Abraham decides that he needs to attend to whatever is bothering her before she becomes too angry to hold her tongue.

“It was a wonderful evening, wasn’t it my love” Abraham offers as he spreads his arms wide to encompass their surroundings.

“Isaac certainly enjoyed it” Sarah says with a momentary smile. “But there is something we need to discuss; now” she says with steel in her voice.

“What is troubling you my love” asks Abraham as he focuses solely on Sarah.

“It’s that slave woman and her son” Sarah says with venom in her voice. “He was laughing at Isaac! I want them GONE. ‘Cast out this slave woman with her son, for the son of this slave woman shall not be heir with my son Isaac’ (verse 10)” Sarah hisses.

Abraham knows there is no reasoning with her; or arguing. Abraham simply bows his head and moves past her into their tent. His heart is torn. He has no love for Hagar, but Ishmael is his son. How can he do as Sarah demands?

Sarah and Abraham say nothing as they ready for bed. The looks he is receiving from her speak volumes though. She is deadly serious. Abraham faces away from Sarah on their shared pallet. He can’t look at her right now. His heart is too hurt.

Abraham spends hours wrestling with what would be required of him. He can find no alternatives. Moving Hagar and Ishmael to the farthest side of the camp would not ensure that Sarah wouldn’t run into them; and unleash her anger on him if she did. Sending them to the city of Gerar would put more distance between them, but Sarah visits the city and the two would probably run into one another even there. Still not good enough. Sarah wanted Hagar and Ishmael gone from their lives forever. Never to be seen again by her; or Abraham. The knowledge that Sarah required him to separate himself permanently from his son. And that cut deeper than any knife ever could.

Abraham finally drifts off to sleep. God meets him there. “Be not displeased because of the boy and because of your slave woman. Whatever Sarah says to you, do as she tells you, for through Isaac shall your offspring be named. And I will make a nation of the son of the slave woman also, because he is your offspring” (verses 12-13). Abraham receives peace from God’s promise. He KNOW that his God will look after his son; even when he is absent from his sight.

Abraham rises very early the next morning; even before Isaac. He quietly gathers bread and a waterskin from the stores of his tent. “I won’t send them away empty handed to die” he thinks as he wraps the bundle tightly to prevent dust from spoiling the bread.

Abraham steals out into the still camp while the light is just starting to seep into the darkness. At the door of Hagar’s tent, he calls out to her. His voice is quiet enough not to wake her neighbors but loud enough to penetrate her sleep. “Hagar, I must speak with you.”

Hagar rouses from her sleep at the sound of her master’s voice. At first she isn’t certain what woke her, but when she hears him call out to her again she quickly rises. Hagar wraps herself in her blanket before pulling back the door of her tent. ‘Husband’ or not, it would not be good for her to be seen speaking to him in her night dress.

“What is it my master? Is there trouble” Hagar asks with concern in her voice.

“Trouble; yes” sighs Abraham.

“What can I do to help?”

“There is only one thing to do to resolve this trouble. You and the boy must leave; immediately.”

Hagar’s eyes widen in surprise. This is NOT what she was expecting. Then her eyes narrow in accusation. “It’s because of HER, isn’t it” she spits.

“Yes. Sarah, my wife whom I love with all my heart, says that you must leave. You and your son.”

“But he’s YOUR son too” exclaims Hagar.

“He is. But there is not room in the camp for both of them.”

“Where will we go” pleads Hagar.

“I have water and bread for you. We are not too far from the land of your birth. Return there with the boy.”

Hagar sees the determination in Abraham’s eyes. She bows her head and moves back inside her tent. “I will need a moment to wake the boy and dress” she calls out from within the tent.

Abraham silently waits while Hagar rouses Ishmael. “We need to get up my son. We are going on a journey” Hagar tells Ishmael.

“Where are we going ima” asks Ishmael.

“You will see. Now get dressed, quickly my son.”

In a few minutes Ishmael and Hagar stand before Abraham.

“Are you going with us Abba” asks Ishmael.

“No my son, not this time. This is a journey for you and your mother alone. We must say goodbye here. We will likely not see one another again in this life.”

Ishmael starts to protest but Hagar shakes her head to stall his questions. “It’s time to go my son” she says as she wraps her arm around his shoulders. He is almost as tall as she is.

Abraham presses the bundle of bread and the waterskin into Hagar’s hands. Then he points the way with his chin for Hagar to follow. “Egypt is in that direction.”

Hagar nods and mother and son begin their journey. Abraham waits until they are out of sight before returning to his tent.

By the time Abraham pulls back the door to his tent, Sarah and Isaac are already up and moving about. Sarah greets him as he enters. “Where have you been my husband” she asks.

“I was busy doing as you commanded last night.” He wants to be angry for demanding this of her, but he remembers God’s words. “Do as she tells you.” Abraham hurries over to Isaac and picks him up. “Whose ready for breakfast” he asks with a big smile.

“I am” responds Isaac with a loud cheer.

“Then we better give ima room to prepare it.” Abraham then takes Isaac outside where he plays with his son.

Sarah watches them go, then turns to the duties of the day; the first being breakfast for her family.

As morning breaks over the camp, Hagar and Ishmael make their way into the wilderness. Hagar has never had the best sense of direction and has never been on her own in such a barren place. All she can do is hope that she will find her way back to Egypt or come across someone who would welcome her and her son.

It is a long and hot journey. Days have passed and Hagar has no idea how far they have traveled, or how much farther they have to go. The bread is gone and the waterskin is empty. Still, she urges herself and her son on. She does not want to die out here, alone. She is determined to reach a town or settlement, or even a lone campsite, somehow.

Another day passes for the pair of travelers without any signs of relief. Both are bone weary and their strength is failing. They press on.

A third day without food or water sees them stumbling, falling, rising again, and stumbling a little farther. Finally, Hagar resigns herself to their fate. They will die in this place. No one will even know what became of them. Hagar can accept her own death, but she cannot watch her son die. That is asking too much of her. She finds a large bush and urges Ishmael to crawl under it for shade. “You lay here and rest. I’m going to find a shady spot to rest too.”

“There’s enough room for both of us if I scoot over” offers Ishmael.

“No. We need to have space enough to allow the wind to touch our skin in all the places. If we huddle together, we will be too warm.”

Ishmael accepts his mother’s explanation without argument. But he senses there is more to her reasoning than she is sharing with him. He watches her move away from him and his heart begins to tear. “First my Abba and now my ima. I am alone in this world.” Ishmael hasn’t enough water in his body to even make tears but that doesn’t stop the sobs from erupting from his young throat. He tries to smother them so as not to upset his mother. But they come anyway.

Hagar finds her ‘shady spot’ and crawls under a bush. Once in her place, Hagar too begins to sob.

Ishmael can hear the cries of his mother but he turns his face away. “Where is my Abba’s God” he wonders. “If only He could see me…”

A voice from Heaven speaks to Hagar. She is the only one who can hear it, but hear it clearly she does. “What troubles you, Hagar?…”

“He knows my name!” thinks Hagar with surprise.

“…Fear not, for God has heard the voice of the boy where he is. Up! Lift up the boy, and hold him fast with your hand, for I will make him into a great nation” (verses 17b-18).

Hagar pulled herself up from her shady spot and hurried back to Ishmael. She moved with more strength than she had had for days! Once at the bush where Ishmael lay, she touched him on the shoulder to convince herself that he was still alive.

Ishmael turned over and was rewarded with a smile on his ima’s face. “Get up Ishmael” Hagar urged.

Ishmael rose slowly to his feet. Hagar took him by the hand and lifted both of their hands towards Heaven. “Here we are!” she shouts with her face turned towards the sky.

When she looks back down, she sees something different just a few paces away. Curiosity gets her moving in its direction. “It is a well!” Hagar exclaims as she drops to her knees beside it. Someone had dug this well in the wilderness not that long ago. Hagar had to lower down the waterskin to fill it as there was no bucket or pitcher nearby.

“Imagine, being so close to water and yet dying of thirst” thinks Hagar.

After filling the waterskin, Hagar give Ishmael all he wanted to drink. “Not too fast though or you will make yourself sick” she cautioned.

Mother and son spent the next day replenishing their strength by the well before Hagar urged them on.

“We can’t stay here forever my son. We have water, but no food or shelter. We must find both.” Hagar filled the waterskin as full as possible. Then the two of them set out again. Hagar had a renewed confidence in her step and felt certain she knew where they were going. In another three days’ time, they reached the river Abraham had crossed while leaving Egypt. Hagar spotted a settlement a stones throw away on the side of her home land.

“We are here my son.”

“Where?” asks Ishmael.

“The land of my birth. Egypt.”

“I thought it would be bigger than this.”

Hagar laughed. “This is just the beginning of it. It goes far beyond where you can see. And there are grand cities within its borders.”

“I don’t want to live in a city. I quite like where we have been living.”

“We will see. For now, let’s locate something to eat.”

Hagar and Ishmael were welcomed into the settlement and quickly given food and drink. This settlement would become their home. Hagar would serve as a washer woman and help the midwife as she had done in Abraham’s camp. Ishmael would grow into a might man; hunting in the wilderness with his bow. His skill surpassing all those around. He kept his mother supplied with meat for her table every day.

When the time finally came, Hagar found a wife for Ishmael from the land of Egypt. He was a son of her blood; not his father’s.

♥ ♦ ♥

God didn’t abandon Ishmael. I had him calling out to the God of his father in his time of need. We are told that God responded to “the boy’s” cry; not the mother’s. God heard both of them, but was moved to action on Ishmael’s behalf. BECAUSE he was Abraham’s son.

Ishmael would carry the sign of the covenant God had made with Abraham for the rest of his life. Would he remember the lessons this father had taught him? From what I understand, Muslims believe that Ishmael was the promised son and that they serve the same God that Abraham did. I can neither confirm or deny this understanding as fact, as I have never studied their religion. What I do know is that there is a DEEP rift between them. A rift that only God can bridge. He sent His son Jesus to bridge ALL gaps between men; Jew and Gentile gaps first. ALL those who believe in Him will be united into one family; HIS family.

Father God, thank You for including me in Your family! I have no place apart from Jesus. You looked down from Heaven and saw all mankind dying for lack of living water. YOU, Lord Jesus, are that living water. You sustain me even at all times. Thank You for ‘opening my eyes’ to the ‘well’ of wealth Your word contains too. Keep it washing over me Holy Spirit!