Proverbs 21:19 Wife Again
Solomon speaks of the wife again. Not just any wife but the quarrelsome wife. She is trouble for her husband in a BIG way.
This is the outer bookend to the 10 verse section my bible helps originally put together. The quarrelsome wife starts and stops this section. We get to look at her once again. I will start out by saying that it does NOT always have to be the “wife” that is the issue. Husbands are just as capable of having faults as wives are.
I just noticed that Solomon didn’t call this woman a “wife”. He simply states the word “woman” in reference to the subject of his warning. I’m not certain why. If it were a daughter, she probably wouldn’t have made it to adulthood. Maybe the woman became quarrelsome because of some experience she suffered. We are not told.
Another difference in the two women Solomon uses as ‘bookends’ is that this woman is also “fretful.” This woman not only picks arguments but she worries about EVERYTHING! Everything from “Will the leaven work in the bread” to “What if the rain doesn’t come in time?” And she makes a drama out of everything! She looks for trouble even when there is none in sight. And, YES, I have a family member like this too.
Solomon says it is better for a man to live in a desert land than with this kind of woman. In the desert, at least he knows what to expect. He can read the signs and prepare himself for what is to come. He will have to find sources of water, but nearly every desert has at least one oasis. He can also be at peace with his own thoughts. Finding food may prove a problem. Other people have done it before so I’m certain he could too if he really wanted to. I’m assuming here that the man came prepared for such a stay.
I still wonder about how Solomon came to his conclusions on the issue. He had SO MANY wives, I’m pretty certain that one of them fit this model. I wonder what he did with her. Did he ‘divorce’ her? Maybe he sent her away, maybe even back to her parents. We know HE didn’t leave because he still had to rule the people. How do you handle a situation like this if you cannot leave?
The first ‘weapon’ I would use against this kind of relationship is PRAYER and LOTS of it!!! Prayer that God would change the person’s heart, calm their fears, and give them His peace. I would also pray for myself; that God would do the same to me.
My next ‘weapon’ would be frank communication. No yelling or blaming but putting the issue out there for both parties to look at. Speaking about how conflict makes you feel. Offer ways you can change too. Make it a collaborative offer instead of a competitive one.
Thank You Father that there IS hope for this kind of relationship. Thank You for helping me grow out of some of these traits myself. I want to be a good wife and be able to talk with my husband with love at ALL times. I want my words to be health to his bones and music to his ears.
