Genesis 16 Backfire
Sari came up with a plan to ‘help’ God give Abram the son that was promised. Her plan seriously backfires on her. The beginning of a rivalry that continues today.
Abram demonstrated his faith when he believed God about having a son. Sari demonstrated her doubt when she offered up her maid to Abram as a substitute mother for the promised son. In her defense, God hadn’t named her yet as the mother of that son. When He does though, she laughs at the prospect.
I will guarantee you though, that God’s plan is ALWAYS better than man’s BEST attempts. I will also guarantee you that God wasn’t up in Heaven wringing His hands over the mess that Sari had stepped into. He KNEW she would do this before He even called Abram to Himself. But He doesn’t share that with Abram until AFTER the mess is made.
Let’s go back and visit Sari, Abram and Hagar. Things are about to heat up!
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Sari was SO hopeful when she offered Abram her maid, Hagar, as his wife. Finally, she would have a child to love. No. It wouldn’t come from her body but it would be hers because SHE was Abram’s true wife. Hagar was just a means to an end. Abram didn’t love her; did he?
The day has finally arrived! The day when Abram hears that he is going to be a father!!! Hagar is certain of this as her time of the woman is long overdue. She takes extra care in dressing this day. It is a special day for both of them. “This day I will become Abram’s favored wife” thinks Hagar. “No longer a servant but now the mistress of the house.”
Sari notices a change in Hagar right away. It started with her being rougher when she did Sari’s hair. Then it became dirty looks sent Sari’s way when Hagar didn’t think Sari was watching. “Something is not right” pops into Sari’s mind. “What could it be?” The answer will be revealed shortly.
Abram comes to the table for breakfast that morning with nothing but the chores of the day on his mind. He needs to check on the expectant mothers in his flocks, ensure there is plenty of stores for the coming winter, and check on the water situation. He doesn’t want to be caught off guard. It could mean the difference between life and death for his animals.
Sari always serves Abram his meals but today Hagar brushes her aside and places a bowl of dates in front of Abram. This is a treat usually reserved for special occasions. Abram, being a man, doesn’t think too deeply into this change. That is, until he sees Sari standing there with her mouth open.
“Am I missing something” asks Abram as he looks between the two women. Hagar’s face is all smiles while Sari’s is crestfallen.
“I am with child my husband” announces Hagar.
“That’s wonderful!” exclaims Abram with a radiant smile for both women. He rises quickly and places a kiss on Hagar’s cheek and a hand over her stomache.
Sari musters up a smile for the occasion but it doesn’t quite reach her eyes. She has a sneaking suspicion that things have changed in this triad, and NOT for the better. She quickly places Abram’s breakfast on the table for him and moves the bowl of dates behind it. After all, he needs hardy food for the demands of his day, not sweet treats.
Abram sits back down and digs into his breakfast but can’t help smiling at the two women. He is very happy about the news, but not quite like he expected he would be. Something is missing. He already KNOWS that he will love this child with ALL his heart, but things feel strained right now.
Once breakfast is over, Abram heads off to his duties. Hagar and Sari struggle to find a new balance in their relationship. Sari is trying to be happy about the child being born into their home, but Hagar is making ‘little digs’ at her all morning. Nothing obvious to anyone but the two of them, but troubling to Sari just the same. Pillows moved, shaper words, and even an occasional rude bump in passing. Sari tries to let it go. “She is just out of sorts right now” thinks Sari.
A week goes by and the little digs have become goads; hard pricks thrown by Hagar. This morning, Hagar refused to help Sari with her hair. “That is not the duty of a ‘wife’ but of a ‘slave’” Hagar announced with her hands rubbing her stomach. “One unbefitting of the mother of Abram’s child.”
There it is! The slap in the face of Sari. Hagar thinks that she is the superior one in this relationship because God allowed HER to have Abram’s child when Sari had been denied that gift.
Sari’s expression changes from one of shock into one of extreme anger in a second. Her eyes stare daggers at Hagar. Hagar returns a look of superiority and contempt back at Sari. The two of them remain locked in this struggle for several moments. Finally, Sari turns her back on Hagar and storms off.
“We’ll see about this” thinks Sari as she searches out Abram. Hagar is only a few paces behind Sari when Sari comes upon Abram.
Abram looks up to see both women approaching. Sari marches up to him and begins speaking immediately. Hurt drives each word as well as the tears gathering in her eyes. “May the wrong done to me be on you! I gave my servant to your embrace, and when she saw that she and conceived, she looked on me with contempt.” Steel enters Sari’s words now as she pronounces sentence. “May the Lord judge between you and me!” (verse 5).
Abram looks between the two women. To him, there is no comparison. Sari is the love of his life. He addresses her directly. “Behold, your servant is in your power;…” Abram looks over Sari’s shoulder directly at Hagar as he continues. “…do to her as you please” (verse 6a).
Hagar’s face falls. The haughty look is completely gone as Sari turns to her. Abram turns from the two women and goes back to speaking with the men he was working with before their arrival. Sari marches up to Hagar and snaps “Let’s go” under her breath. Hagar meekly follows Sari back to their tent.
Sari is merciless towards Hagar now. It doesn’t matter to Sari one bit if Hagar is feeling ill with the changes in her body. Sari demands complete obedience from Hagar. From the moment she rises in the morning until the last rays of the dying candle, Hagar is kept moving and working. Sari doesn’t have a kind word for her at all. And it seems like nothing Hagar does is good enough. There is no pleasing Sari.
Abram is completely removed from the turmoil between the two women. He either doesn’t notice or chooses not to see.
Each day, Hagar’s spirits sink a little more. She didn’t think it possible to feel any lower after hearing Abram’s words that day, but she was wrong. If it wasn’t for the child growing inside her, Hagar would wish to die. Instead, after enduring Sari’s treatment for more than a month, Hagar runs away.
Hagar has no idea where to go or how to care for herself, but even dying alone in the wilderness is better than continuing under Sari’s cruel treatment. Hagar reaches a spring before stopping to rest. She is exhausted. After getting a drink of refreshing water from the stream, Hagar sits with her back against a tree. She leans her head back on the trunk and closes her eyes. “I’ll rest for just a little bit” breathes Hagar.
Hagar’s eyes snap open at the sound of her name.
“Hagar, servant of Sari, where have you come from and where are you going?” asks the stranger.
This is no ordinary stranger. Hagar KNOWS there is something special about him. She feels compelled to answer.
“I am fleeing from my mistress Sari.”
“Return to your mistress and submit to her” commands the stranger.
The thought of arguing or pleading her case doesn’t even enter Hagar’s mind. She KNOWS that this is exactly what she must do. Her mind and heart are made up in an instant. She WILL do this. No matter what Sari demands.
As soon as this decision settles in Hagar’s heart, Hagar’s stranger speaks again. His words confirm EXACTLY who it is that she is speaking to. It is an angel of the Lord. Abram’s God.
“I will surely multiply your offspring so that they cannot be numbered for multitude” (verse 9).
“This sounds a lot like the promise Abram has spoken of” Hagar thinks. Before Hagar can continue down that line, the angel of the Lord continues.
“Behold, you are pregnant with a son. You shall call his name Ishmael, because the Lord has listened to your affliction. He shall be a wild donkey of a man, his hand against everyone and everyone’s hand against him, and he shall dwell over against all of his kinsmen” (verses 11b-12).
Hagar fell on her face before the angel of the Lord. His words are wonderous, but also a little concerning. HER son will be a great man. The Lord had heard HER AND SEEN her. No matter what came next, Hagar KNEW she was loved.
Hagar returned that very day to Sari. She submitted to whatever Sari demanded. In time, Sari’s anger seemed to lessen, or maybe it was that Hagar felt it less. It was never the way it had originally been between the two women but they found a way to co-exist.
The day has finally come! Abram’s son is born. As soon as he has been cleaned by the midwife, Abram takes him and holds him aloft for all gathered around to see. “I have a SON” shouts Abram. Abram brings him to his chest and gazes in his eyes. He has never known such joy.
Sari stands by Abram and is proud for him. But she still feels empty. Try as she might, she does not feel love for this child. She is glad Abram has his son. That is enough for her. “You should return him to is mother” says Sari. “He is probably hungry.”
Abram snaps out of his brief moment of bonding with his child and does exactly as Sari suggested. There will be plenty of time to get to know his child.
Hagar takes her son back and begins to nurse him. And so begins a new chapter in the lives of Abram, Sari, Hagar, and Ishmael. Abram is 83 when he becomes a father for the first time.
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I remember those first moments of life with each of my children. That instant love. And the endless nights afterwards where we found our rhythm.
I too had a pregnancy like Hagar. Where nothing I did was ever enough. Where I wasn’t enough. I remember the hurt and humiliation of that year. The verbal and emotional abuse. I can truly understand her story. And I know firsthand the impact that such turmoil can have on the unborn child. My middle son grew up with a volatile temper. It seemed as if “he was against everyone and everyone was against him” for a LONG time. God moved in his life and mellowed his heart. He is an AMAZING father now to his two children. I wonder if God eventually mellowed Ishmael.
Father God, THANK YOU for supporting me through my ‘difficult’ pregnancy. THANK YOU for the man my son has become. THANK YOU that he understood the importance of supporting his wife during her pregnancies. And, THANK YOU that man can do NOTHING to derail Your plans!
Ishmael wasn’t an accident or a mistake. Things were NEVER easy between the descendants of Abram’s children. You KNEW from before time even began what their rivalry would hold. Even I can’t mess up YOUR plans!
