Proverbs 27:3-4 Truly Heavy
There are things that have mass and weight. Some of these things can be quite heavy but what weighs the heart is TRULY heavy. We need God to shift and lift it.
One of my family members today is struggling with this issue of heaviness. And it stems from the second verse in our reading; jealousy. There is a great opportunity for an immediate member of his household and all he can think about is why can’t he go too! This has been a two week battle as he struggles to force the other member to abandon her opportunity and pity him. This would be a difficult enough situation on its own but he is actively trying to draw other family members into his drama and convince them of how right he is. Today, one of his comments was “She thinks I’m being selfish.” I wasn’t the one who heard this from his lips but the first thing that popped into my head when I did hear it was, “If the shoe fits! Cinderella!!!” The one who did have to listen to it said “Well…” but he completely ignored that response.
In an effort to make everyone feel sorry for him, he is talking about “dark thoughts”. And we would all be ready to rally around him for support if this wasn’t his pattern of behavior. He always has some drama that he wants everyone else to solve for him. And it is always crushing and immediate!
I have been in the place of ‘dark thought’ before. The ONLY thing that saved me was God and worrying about what my children would do without me. Changing my circumstances did nothing to lift them. Only when I surrendered to God and let Him work in my life, and began praising Him in the midst of it, did they begin to lift.
I feel guilty for my thoughts concerning him. But the weight he has put on the rest of the family is the heaviest thing we face together. His behavior/provocation tears hearts and rases hackles. I don’t know how to protect the one he oppresses the most from his crushing burden.
Jealousy is all consuming. It not only eats at the person who is jealous but also those around them. The object of their jealousy is put in the position of ‘not provoking’ them. If the jealous person matters to the object of their jealousy, they have to watch everything they do. Don’t talk to certain people. Wear only approved clothes. Stay within easy influence of the jealous person. Be ready to give an account for any perceived infraction. It Is Exhausting!!! It can ruin an otherwise good relationship.
There are also people who try and provoke jealousy in others. We met with their kind last time; the braggers. Those who can’t wait to show everyone around them their latest toy or blessing. Those who have to always have the best and push it into the faces of others. The ones who are forever ‘patting themselves on the back’ for their own accomplishments. They are just as tiring to be around.
So, what do you do when you are trapped in this kind of relationship? First and foremost, PRAY. Pray for wisdom on how to respond when provoked. Ask God to put a guard around your heart so their barbs can’t get to you. Pray also that God will open their eyes to their own behavior. That they will see that their jealousy is actually driving the object of their desire farther away. Pray that the heaviness that is in their heart, stirring up this feeling, will be shifted then lifted by the Lord.
Jealousy stems from fear. Fear that the person is not enough to keep the other in the relationship with them. Fear that the person will find someone or something they like better. For true healing, the root cause has to be exposed and dealt with. PRAY that opportunity arrives. And that the person TAKES IT!
Father God, I’m sorry if it sounds like all I’m doing today is complaining. Thank You for restraining me from calling the family member and giving him a piece of my mind. I seriously doubt my anger would help. But if you have something for me to say that can help the situation, PLEASE let me know and give me the opportunity to speak into his life. Protect those around him who are being hurt too Father. Make this opportunity for his family something that actually comes to pass and not something that either of them sabotage. THANK YOU for prompting me to pray earlier regarding them.
Remove any jealousy from my heart too Holy Spirit. I know I’m not perfect in this area at times. Make my heart tender towards others without being laid down at their feet for crushing. Help me build up and not tear down.
