Proverbs 25:16-17 Moderation
Everything has a limit to it before it turns bitter. Food and friends are in our lesson for today. Moderation is the way to keep things from turning bitter.
As someone who struggles with food, I can tell you first hand that verse 16 is right on the money! On more than one occasion, I have eaten so much that, even the VERY BEST tasting foods made me physically ill. Too much of a good thing is ANYTHING but good.
Believe it or not, even too much money is not a good thing. I haven’t personally lived out that reality but I know of many of the pitfalls related to it. The biggest one is worrying about how to keep what you have. This is especially true of those who put their trust in money.
Let’s get back to the topics covered today; food and friends. Just as overindulging sours a food in your mouth, over extended stays sour a relationship between friends and even family. God called Israel to embody hospitality. They were commanded to open their homes to the foreigner and stranger, BUT those stays had limits. There was a three day time limit on a guest’s visit and the host’s hospitality. The “enter here and find rest” was NOT an open invitation for someone to take up permeant residence in the host’s home.
While reading a bit more about this on Jewish Virtual Library we even see how the guest is gently encouraged to end their stay. For the meal on the first day a calf is slaughtered. For the second a sheep. For the third a bird. On the fourth day, if the guest has not departed, he is served beans only. In other words, “It’s time to move on.” There is another saying that regarding this three-day rule. Guests are like fish. After three days they both begin to stink.
As I was growing up, my parents often opened our home to family members who were looking to make changes in their lives. Usually, it was someone looking for a new job in our area. Their ‘visits’ were seldom three days or less. They usually lasted several weeks. Most were able to transition into their own lives within that time or decided to return to their own place of origin. But a few had to be ‘encouraged’ to leave.
This ‘encouragement’ didn’t mean we didn’t love this/these member(s) of our family. It meant that our lives had been so disrupted by their presence that there were now problems in our home as a result. During one EXTENDED visit, I was doing EVERYTHING I could to make our guests feel welcome, even when their children were making our lives anything but comfortable. I’m not going to go into the details, but that visit almost resulted in breaking up our family. My mother told my dad that if our guests didn’t leave, she would take us children to a hotel and stay there until they did. She gave this ultimatum because of tensions that were leveled at me personally. I had NEVER felt so loved by my mom before that day! I knew she loved me but she put MY needs FIRST. I still get tears in my eyes thinking of how she took up for me in that situation.
My dad delivered the news and our guests left shortly thereafter. This was also the last time we had long term guests. At least that was the last time while I still lived there as a child. I’ve heard of other visitors who overstayed their welcome after I left; and they weren’t even family!
We ALL need to recognize when we are being a burden on a gracious host. That is another issue that is covered in the Jewish customs. The guest, along with not staying too long, is supposed to ensure that they are not a burden to their host. One thing they are expected to do is to offer a special blessing to their host in the form of a prayer. This shows their gratitude for the hospitality being offered to them.
One reason why hospitality was commanded of Israel is because hospitality was granted to them. God told Moses to show hospitality to travelers and strangers because Israel was a stranger himself in the land of Egypt. Yes, the Israelites stayed longer than the three-day limit but they also wound up paying for it. After Joseph and those who knew of Joseph’s work on behalf of Egypt died, the Hebrews became slaves. The overextended stay became an enforced stay.
There is one mention refusing a guest that speaks of life or death. That is when we come before the throne of God and account for our deeds. Jesus separates those who ‘cared for Him’ from those who didn’t. But the care wasn’t specifically delivered unto Jesus Himself, but to those who are in need. “Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me” (Matthew 25:40). WE are guests of the Father until He adopts us as His own. He expects us to extend hospitality to those in need too. We are to be good guests too!
Father God, thank You for adopting me as Your won. I am no longer a stranger or an orphan but Your child! Help me extend hospitality to those You bring across my path. Steve is so much better at this than I am. He thinks of all the practical things to offer. I’m welcoming but don’t always think of the little things I should offer a guest.
There are some family members that I don’t want to have to open our home to. PLEASE help this member get housing NOW! She really needs a place to live now Father. Give her favor Father with the rental agencies. I have had her in my home before and the stays were MUCH longer than any guest should stay. Please provide her another place of housing.
