Proverbs 24:5-6 Wise Words #21
We CANNOT make it through this life alone. The wise man/woman realizes this and seeks good counsel and accepts help. Those who don’t, flounder about.
This was probably one of the hardest lessons I have had to learn in my life; asking for help. I once wrote a poem about this but have lost it somehow. Search as I might, I can’t find it. I remember snippets of it and the theme.
There was a hat-stand where people would come into the home and remove their hats. They would then place them on the hat-stand. Each hat represented a role in life. Parent, provider, peace-maker, worker, student, care-taker, confidant, encourager, etc… You name it, the hat stand held it while they rested. But it wasn’t an ordinary hat-stand. If you looked closer, “Instead of a simple piece of wood, you’ll find me standing where you thought it stood.” And as each hat was placed on the hat-stand I would assume the role. I had to fill ALL the hats/roles that were taken off so others could rest. The poem ended with me asking those who placed their ‘hats’ on me to take one another for I can only do so much.
Thinking about that poem today, I realize that when a ‘hat’ was placed on me, I held fast to it. It was VERY HARD to convince me to lay down any of the roles I had been given and even harder still to admit that I needed help filling all those roles. Want to know a secret? It’s still hard for me today.
I was ill this last week. My head was spinning and I had indigestion so strong it made my chest hurt all the way through to my spine. I was wise enough to call my doctor. She gave me instructions and medication. One of those instructions included going to the emergency room for evaluation if it didn’t leave. Instead, we went to a friend’s house that we had made arrangements to join them for a late lunch. They were surprised that we came because I was texting with my friend all day. She was asking how I was feeling. She figured I would just want to stay home. I told her “I can be miserable anywhere, so why spoil the day.”
I kept a ‘stiff upper lip’ throughout the visit but quietly confided in her the rest of my doctor’s instructions. My mother-in-law saw us quietly conversing and asked what was said. I told her the same thing. I also reassured them both that I was feeling better.
The next morning things started to go south again. I finally asked for help. My mother-in-law came and sat with my husband while my friend drove me to the hospital. Before you panic, ALL systems were checked and nothing life threatening was found. It was ruled an inner ear issue that they couldn’t treat, but if symptoms continued I was supposed to go back to my doctor. I took small doses of the medication my doctor had prescribed throughout the day to keep the dizziness at bay. I didn’t take a full dose because I wouldn’t be able to take any again until 12 hours later.
Two days later I was supposed to drive my husband to his medical appointment about 300 miles away. The night before I was still extremely dizzy. I thought about asking another friend if he would drive for us but he already had commitments that I knew about. One of my sisters-in-law brought me a patch to help me through the drive. It was to be put on at 4-12 hours before I needed to be functional. Within an hour one of the side effects started in; blurry vision. I removed the patch immediately. She offered to drive but I knew she had prior commitments too so I said I would be alright.
The morning of the drive I woke up dizzy but felt I had no choice but to go on anyway. I took a full dose of the medication, asked God for help, and an hour later off we went. God is GOOD. Between His hands and the medication, I didn’t have any dizziness the whole day. Some started to return that evening but I pushed it away. The next morning I did the same thing I had done the previous day and made the return trip without incident.
I COULD have taken the offer from my sister-in-law. I COULD have called the doctor and told him we weren’t able to make it up there. I probably COULD also have called our insurance company and had them transport us. I didn’t do any of these things. I held tight to my ‘hat’ and went on. Long story even longer, I refused help because it was ‘my job’ and ‘I needed to do it’. At least I accepted help when I went to the hospital.
Where am I going with this? I’m telling you the same lesson I still need to learn. NO ONE CAN MAKE IT THROUGH THIS LIFE WITHOUT HELP. We ALL need to be able to ask for, and ACCEPT help. That is the way of the “wise man” who “is full of strength”. His strength comes from recognizing this and allowing himself to be supported wherever he is lacking. He “enhances his might” by adding the strength of others to his strength. He may even have to sit down and let everyone else carry him through some battles. He KNOWS he needs “abundant counselors” to have victory in life.
My ‘wearing all the hats’ may have served me in parts of my life but it left me weary and weak instead. I am still ‘patching the cracks’ from the weight I carried. And I finally realize that there were (are) others supporting me without my notice. Not that I would be slow to thank them if I noticed, but I would tell them that I was o.k. and could go on alone from here. Maybe it’s best that I didn’t know ALL the little things done to keep me from drowning under the weight.
Father God, THANK YOU for EVERY PERSON who has supported me in my life. From my mother who taught me of You from my youth to those who suggest easier ways of doing things. For those who stand guard while I rest and those who help me up again when it’s time to rise. THANK YOU for my mother-in-law who watches over my husband at times. Keep her SAFE while she does this for me. Keep my husband SAFE also Father. You know how I worry about both of them when I have to be out alone. Continue to teach me how to accept help when it is offered and to ASK for help when I need it. And to recognize my need for help too.
