Proverbs 13:22-25 Futures
Every man has a future but the futures of the righteous and wicked look nothing alike. The futures of the children of the righteous will shine also.
The verses we are looking at today speak of the future of the two different roads. Along those roads for both includes children. How will the children fare on each path? How do you insure a good future for your children? Solomon gives us a few pointers for that today.
First of all, Solomon admonishes us to be “good” men. Without first having your own life in line, there is no way we can hope to guide our children. This “good man” is prudent in his life and “leaves an inheritance to his children’s children” (verse 22a). He prepares for the future. He puts aside some of what he has for his children. He knows some of the needs they will face as they grow into adulthood and makes provisions for it.
Money is NOT the only thing he gives them though. He gives them something more precious than gold. He gives them an example of how to live a life pleasing unto God. He models his relationship with the Father in front of them. He turns to the Lord for guidance in raising them. He teaches them of the Lord and supports them as they forge a relationship with Him. This “inheritance” will last FAR longer than any laid up in a bank. And it will be passed on to his children’s children as they grow. If he is fortunate, he will be able to model this same relationship with his grandchildren.
In this modeling he will face times of discipline. If he is a loving parent he will address concerns early. He will not ignore sin and ‘hope it goes away’. God Himself disciplines us. “For the Lord disciplines the one He loves, and He chastises every son He receives” (Hebrews 12:6). “Those I love, I rebuke and discipline. Therefore be earnest and repent” (Revelation 3:19). If we love our children we will be faithful in disciplining them.
Solomon, through God’s wisdom, tells us “Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him” (verse 24). This “rod” is not something to beat the child endlessly into submission but an instrument to set boundaries with and bring them back onto the path of right behavior. Yes, discipline is often painful. But the result of withholding discipline is even more painful. Think of the rampaging violence in our society today. I believe this is a direct result of the lack of discipline in the home.
Many blame it on ‘the father not being in the home’. My children were without a father figure much of their lives, due to circumstances beyond my control, yet they did NOT lack discipline. They may have gotten away with a little more because I didn’t have a back-up person to catch what I missed but they learned well the lessons of good behavior.
Discipline starts early and is sensitive to the child’s development. You would not expect to use the same methods with a toddler as you would a teen. They don’t have the same capacity for understanding. But if you ignore the toddler’s behavior, when he/she is a teen, they will be beyond your reach with discipline. Their rebellious patterns will have been set for life. This is probably a big part of the reason the first generation out of Egypt was refused entrance into the Promised Land. They knew of God but had not walked with Him alone until late in life. The next generation was taught God’s principles from an early age. They learned to trust Him and to obey Him because of what they had seen on a daily basis.
In learning discipline, learning limits is crucial. Learning that not everything belongs to you. That there are limits to our appetites that need to stand firm. God says “The righteous has enough to satisfy his appetite” (verse 25a). We, and our children, need to learn what is ‘enough’. God addresses this in His commandments too. “You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his male servant, or his female servant, or his ox, or his donkey, or anything that is your neighbor’s” (Exodus 20:17). This is the final commandment given by God to Moses and the people. Let your eyes be on your own life and learn when enough is enough. God said he would “satisfy his appetite” for the righteous. He didn’t say He would remove all restrictions and limits. This too is boundaries and discipline.
Children cry out for boundaries. When we supply them they learn safety. They learn that we love them enough to keep them safe with limits. Being consistent with those boundaries is just as important as making them to begin with. If children butt up against a boundary one week and it holds them and the next week there is no boundary, they are confuse and don’t know what to expect. This reminds me of a story my mother once told me about one of my cousins.
When he would do something wrong his mother would often laugh. But he never knew what to expect after that. Sometimes she would strike out at him afterwards. Other times she would ignore the behavior. There was no predicting what would follow her laughter. One time he did something that made my mother laugh. He froze in terror. “Are you going to hit me” he asked. Laughter to him signaled uncertainty and danger because he had lived under inconsistent discipline.
Give your children the best discipline you can. It won’t be perfect but it is better than no discipline at all. ALWAYS do it with love. ‘Discipline’ done without love is simply abuse. Invest in their future by teaching them now about the path God would have them walk as adults. God has a promise for those who will take on this task with love and commitment. “Train up a child in the way he should go; and when he is old he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6).
Father God, thank You for entrusting me with the lives of my children. I KNOW I made mistakes along the way as I tried to be their example and to discipline them with love. Those moments still haunt me at times. My greatest heartbreak comes from their lack of a close relationship with You. I KNOW Your promises concerning their future. I hold fast to those promises. Your promise doesn’t have an expiration date or even a due date on it. But it is as sure as the sun rising in the morning.
Thank You for letting me at least have moments of planting seeds in my grandchildren’s lives. I PRAY they too forge a relationship with You. I leave ALL of them in Your hands Father.
