1. Juanita Nimmo Lunsford
    March 11, 2016 @ 10:44 PM

    Great job sis. I just read this to your Daddy and he loves it as much as I do. Keep up the good work.

    • avincent
      March 12, 2016 @ 5:12 AM

      I’m glad you shared it with Daddy. This was a hard one for me to write because I still feel the failure of my first marriage. I wish I could say I had a marriage like yours that has lasted a lifetime, even in the tough times. I know God has forgiven me already and so I need to too.

  2. Victoria Nimmo Walters
    March 14, 2016 @ 6:05 PM

    This one hits a achy spot in my heart that I ‘may’ one day have to deal with…but for now I’m choosing to simply allow to place limitations on my future.

    As a widow, the common thought is that I should be free to remarry as I choose. However, previous to my widowhood I was married and divorced twice. According to the Church, in order to be eligible to remarry, each of those two previous marriages would have to be examined to determine whether they were Sacramental marriages, or if there was something about them that would have kept them from rising to the level of being a Sacrament of Holy Matrimony. When I look at the each marriage in comparison to the requirements the Church places on the Sacrament, I can easily see where each of them fell short: My first marriage took place when I was too young to even sign a legally binding contract–and truth be told, my parent that signed on my behalf encouraged me to go through with it even though I was having second thoughts; my second marriage was to someone who proclaimed there was not room in the same house for him and God. Neither of those marriage would stand up to the scrutiny of the Church and annulments could be easily granted.


    I know in my heart that to annul my first marriage would be devastating to the fragile mental balance of my first husband–and I don’t want to be responsible for destroying him. Therefore I have chosen to remain unmarried after widowhood, even though it will mean growing old alone. That breaks my heart–but I choose the pain for myself rather than inflicting it on him…at least for now.

    If, one day, Our Lord chooses to bring someone really special into my life, I may find myself making a different choice. But unless that happens I will live with the choice I have made.

  3. avincent
    March 14, 2016 @ 8:08 PM

    That is an amazing gift you are bestowing on him. Knowing him personally, I don’t know if I could show the mercy you are showing. I pray that you DON’T grow old alone. Not saying that you have to remarry, but that you at least have friends that are so close you never feel alone.

    When I was divorcing I was asked if I wanted to take back my maiden name. I chose to keep his name because I felt like I would be telling my children that they were a mistake and I was divorcing them too.

    When I remarried and took my current husband’s name it was painful because I felt it was distancing myself from my children. If I didn’t take my husband’s name I would be placing my children as a wedge between us. Rock and a hard place.

  4. Victoria Nimmo Walters
    March 15, 2016 @ 2:46 PM

    Thank you, Annette. I do have close friends living nearby whom I consider ‘family.’ But the older I get; the more aches and pains increase; the more limited I feel in doing the things required to keep my house in order. Most days I’m fine…but there are days that I feel incredibly lonely. Am grateful to Jesus for His ever-Presence–especially on those days.