Proverbs 27:7-10 Empty or Full
Is your life empty or full? And what fills it? These are important things to ask yourself often. The answers show you the direction you have been traveling and point to where to next.
When reading these verses today, the all spoke to me of relationships. I thought of the person who has no one; the lonely and alone. Then there is the person who is surrounded by everyone and then some. And there is the person in the middle; a balance of company and quiet.
The right kind of relationships is as important, if not more, than the number of them. The prodigal son had a LOT of ‘friends’, when he had money. But when the money left, so did his friends. Jesus had hordes of people around Him but He only had a small number He called friends. Elijah stood alone much of the time, but he was seldom lonely because God was with him wherever he went.
Man was never meant to be a solitary figure. As I’ve stated before; God Himself saw that man needed another in his life. This is why He made woman. Adam was the first to give voice to the fact that children will grow up and leave their parents. He said that this would happen when a man found his soulmate; the one who completed him.
Just a quick side trip. How did Adam know about parents and growing up? He spoke as a man with experience but he had never been a child. Unless you count God as his Father and his choice to follow Eve into sin as “leaving his mother and father” for his wife. NOT a trade God wanted him to make but one He knew was coming.
Let’s walk through the verses. I want to share what I saw there. I KNOW it’s not all there is to learn from these verses but it is what spoke to me today.
Verse 7 speaks of full or empty bellies. I can identify with both of these positions. I have never had the hollow, near starvation, empty belly. There are those who have no access to food on a regular basis. To these individuals, ANYTHING looks good enough to eat. A stale crust of bread, left-overs that have been thrown in the trash, withered fruit… anything they can put in their mouth and swallow so their stomach will stop hurting. That is true hunger.
One who is starving for company will take whoever is available. The prisoner in a cell will befriend anyone who reaches out to him. Some of those friendships end in disaster; possibly even death. The desperate desire to belong leaves them vulnerable.
On the other side of that verse is one who is so full he could burst! In the food world, this would be the one who gorged himself to the point where even thinking about eating makes him nauseous. There were even people in history who would eat until they could hold no more, vomit it all out, and begin again. I’ve done the first two steps but not the repeat return to the table.
The relationship equal to this is someone who has SO MANY ‘friends’ that they don’t really attend to any of them. They don’t value the friends they have. When one ‘breaks’ they go shopping for another. Their friends are disposable.
Verse 8 brings to mind images of children growing up and making their own way out on the world. There are children who want to run as FAR as possible from where they came from. They felt trapped by the life they lived as a child and could hardly wait to leave. Some go so far that they believe themselves cut off from ever returning; they’ve lost their way home.
A baby bird NEEDS to leave the nest at some point. Can you imagine if ALL the offspring stayed with their parents. The tree couldn’t hold their number! Growing up and loosening the knots of your parent’s bindings is an important part of life. You don’t have to go far for that independence. Sometimes it can be as close as the next room when there is agreed upon independence. Sometimes the clinging to the parent knows no distance or age. I’ve already shared that story so I’m going to skip forward.
In my bible helps, they state that this verse speaks of someone wandering far away and leaving their family unprotected. Their absence opens the young family to dangers they shouldn’t have to face. There are times when one parent has to leave for employment reasons. The ones who leave while still carrying their family in their hearts are never too far away. The shared burden of separation for work can often make the relationship stronger. Though sometimes it can stretch the relationship so far it breaks in two. Long distance relationships are never easy.
Verse 9 brings us images of smell. The smell of oil and perfume bring back memories. Most times, pleasant smells bring with them pleasant memories and they usually include other individuals. I have smells that trigger me. One of them is the smell of freshly cut plywood; sawdust. I spent so many years in my life ‘helping’ my dad in building projects that, just the smell of sawdust reminds me of him.
Most of my memories of him are sweet. Not just because he is my father but for the “counsel” he has given me over a lifetime. That counsel wasn’t always words. It came in the form of hugs, time spent together, pride in his eyes when I showed him my work, and even the discipline I received when needed. ALL these things are a part of his “sweetness.”
A friend who shares these same experiences with you can be equally sweet. And it is especially important to find such friends when you are far from family. Or if you have a family that lacks the ability: to love. A good friend can be closer than a brother. Proverbs 18:24 speaks of such a one. Jesus is certainly that Friend to those who love Him.
Verse 10 concludes our section by telling us not to “forsake your friends and your father’s friend” (verse 10a). True friends are priceless! Hold tight to them. Not strangling tight but with ties of cords built out of fellowship and reliance in times of need. Both be a friend by helping and be a friend by accepting help when offered or needed.
In times of trouble, it is MUCH easier to make it through if you have a good network of friends nearby. When your only help is a far away relative, help can be slow in coming. Not because of a lack of love or ability but one imposed by distance. It would be nearly impossible for my father to help me put out a fire in my home. Instead, I would turn to those nearby. Those whom I have forged relationships of friendship with.
I had many times when I had very few friends near me. I was alone with my four children quite a bit. I reached out many times but several of those who reached back had ill intent or wanted only acquaintance status. One night I was on the phone with my mom when my youngest son let out a blood curdling -scream. I turned and started to go to see what was going on, when my children emerged from the bedroom with my youngest pouring blood down his face. My next words were, “Going to the hospital. Bye.”
I hung up, grabbed a towel and loaded all my kids into the car. I had no one who was friend enough and close enough to me to leave my other children with. My dad, who was hundreds of miles away was ready to jump in the car that instant and rush to the hospital; but which one? There was nothing my family, who WAS worrying on the other end of the concluded phone call, could do. We did it alone. Emergency room, surgery to repair his nose, pick up the next day, and struggling to keep him from re-injuring it again. Loved as much as I was, distance held my help at bay, and insecurity kept any close help from even being sought.
I still have trouble reaching out and making deep friendships. It takes quite a bit of pushing in from others to get past my barriers. My family, including my children, has always taken up most of my ‘friends’ spaces. God HAS brought people who refused to be kept out when we were across the nation from family. And He has also given my parents the ability to somehow be there in my darkest times; including holding my mother’s hand as she braved being on an airplane to get to me. THAT’S LOVE!
Father God, thank You for the people You have brought into my life over the years. Yes, I feel lonely at times; especially when I think about the number of friends I have verses the number of friends my husband has. But I have NEVER been alone. You have always been with me. And the children You entrusted to me have filled VAST spaces in my life. They still do today. Thank You for them Father!!! My 4 and 0 (no) more has certainly grown! We are now my 4 and 2 more and MUCH MORE to boot! Thank You for filling all my empty and lonely spaces with family and GOOD friends.
