Proverbs 25:6-7b Wait for Honor
There is nothing so humiliating as being ‘brought low’ when you have made yourself out to be important. Wait for honor to be bestowed instead of snatching it for yourself.
I want to start off by saying that I am stunned by the fact that this section ends in the middle of a verse. Before I read verses 6 and 7, I assumed that because there was a ‘change in subject mark’ at the beginning of verse 7 that 6 stood alone. After reading the two verses I realized that the majority of verse 7 belongs with verse 6. The subject, instead, changes in the last portion of verse 7. If I were the one compiling this, I would have moved the ‘change in subject mark’ to it’s proper place OR I would have started verse 8 at that change. But I’m NOT the author, nor am I the editor. I even contemplated going on to the next ‘change in subject mark’ to keep from breaking a verse in two. However, my Bible Helps broke it in too.
Let’s focus now on the ‘meat of our message’ instead of format. I’m sure you have heard the phrase; “He thought more highly of himself that he ought.” That phrase fits our lesson in Proverbs ‘like a glove’.
I hope you don’t mind that I quite often look to my own life for examples or illustrations of what the Spirit is speaking to me. I find it MUCH EASIER to remember His lessons when they directly apply to my life; even if it is long in my past. I’m CERTAIN I have erred in this same fashion somewhere in my life, but the Holy Spirit isn’t bringing any examples of it to my mind. What I am remembering as a ‘humiliating experience’ is calling out to someone I thought I recognized, only to find out they weren’t who I thought they were. We have probably all had this same kind of embarrassing encounters, but for some reason those feelings are what are haunting me this moment.
As I was writing this, another humiliating experience was brought to my mind. This one was from a very low time in my life. The experience came in the form of a ‘dressing down’ in a public forum by a doctor who was treating me. I have shared that I have issues with food but have not gone into great detail with many people. Only those who I had to. Well, I think, today I’m being told to. If this changes your perception of me or bothers you, I apologize in advance.
During the ‘high point’ (lowest point) of dealing with eating issues, I was hospitalized in a Psychiatric ward. My mother came across the country to stay with my children while I was in the hospital. I wanted to get back to my children and was doing everything I could to LOOK LIKE I was ‘towing the line’. I knew I was in trouble but I wasn’t ready yet to turn loose of this sliver of control I had over my life. I would do quiet isometric exercises during the group meetings. When we had free time I would find somewhere to jog in place. Whatever I could do to feel like I still had control in this environment. As you have probably already figured out, I wasn’t in control, my illness was.
One of the things that happened every morning was a weigh in where I was not allowed to look at the scale. I have vision issues so my ears are VERY attuned to the sounds around me. Just by listening I had a pretty good idea of where I stood. On one particular morning weigh in I could tell the nurse was having difficulty getting the weights to settle into place. I thought about saying something as I listened to her fumbling around but I stayed silent. As a result of her mishandling the scale, when the doctors met for their meeting, she reported that I had lost a significant amount of weight. My doctor came storming out of the meeting room and faced me down in the middle of all the other residents. He told me that I had been found out. He wasn’t sure how I was tricking the scale but I had been caught. He let me know that my isometric exercises weren’t unnoticed, and he did so in a VERY disrespectful manner. Next, he threatened me with a judges order for a feeding tube if I didn’t consent to one right there and then.
The floor dropped out from under me! My legs felt ready to buckle at any moment. Out of fear I agreed to whatever he said. I have NEVER been made to feel so helpless and humiliated. I had felt in control and possibly even superior because I was able to still do the things, I believed, kept me safe and in control.
AFTER I cried, called my friend, and raged for a bit, I was able to convince the nurse to weigh me again. THIS TIME she did it correctly and the loss she reported was found to be in error. Just to be sure I didn’t cheat though they weighed me several times throughout the day without warning. The doctor never apologized for his behavior. In fact, he said it was probably a good thing this happened so I would know how serious they were.
Even to this day, when I am reminded of a few times during that month, my stomach drops and my hands begin to sweat. For years, when I revisited events from that time, I would tell myself; “I can’t believe I let them have so much power over me!” Today I have something different to tell myself. “I CANNOT BELIEVE HOW ARROGANT YOU WERE!!!” Yes, that particular day I had grounds to call their conclusions into question but my attitude of superiority or ‘specialness’ got in my way for a LONG time. Only now do I see it for what it truly was.
I tell you the truth; it is MUCH preferable for someone else to raise you up than to raise yourself up and have that attitude be your downfall. This is actually one of my fears with this blog. I’m afraid that others will think I’m trying to look superior, an expert, or puffed up. This is NOT my goal!!! My real goal is to share the things God and His Holy Spirit share with me as I read His word. I take NO credit for what is written here, beyond being the one pushing the computer keys. I want NO place of honor! ALL honor belongs to God. Especially when He finally opens my eyes to the lessons He was teaching me all along and I was too self-absorbed to grasp them.
Father God, THANK YOU for the lessons along the way. I’m sorry it took me so long to grasp the fullness of this one. Maybe it wasn’t time for me to do so until now. Thank You for Your patience in teaching me. Don’t let me become puffed up this way again. If I still am puffed up, pleas POP me with Your pin. I want to be Your child and see myself ONLY as You see me.
Thank You for protecting me from myself SO MANY TIMES in my life! Even in this area of my life, let me see myself as YOU see me. And keep me safe in Your arms as the rest of the lessons in my life unfold or their deeper meaning is brought out by Your Spirit.
