Genesis 38 Judah’s Family
We get to see the beginnings of Judah’s family. This will be the line that will culminate in Jesus’s birth. And it doesn’t start off smooth.
Moses, when writing Genesis through the Holy Spirit, steps away from Joseph for a moment. He turns our attention to Judah. Judah was the line God chose to bring His Son through. We get to see the first links being forged in that chain.
Judah had five sons. Two of them were so wicked that God killed them. I’m certain we won’t get to ask them in Heaven what happened. Their story isn’t even the main focus of the story we see today. Tamar is the main character in this story. Of course, she wouldn’t be in the story if not for her link to Judah. Let’s join their story and see where the Spirit takes us today.
♥ ♦ ♥
Jacob, who is now being called Israel, is still mourning the loss of Joseph. Judah feels wholly responsible for his Abba’s grief. He wasn’t the one to first decide to do away with Joseph, but he is the one who personally sold him to the Ishmaelite traders. And he can’t even confess his sin to his Abba. He has tried confessing it to his Abba’s God, but he feels no release yet.
Judah needs to get away for a while. “Maybe if I don’t have to see Abba’s face, I can begin to breathe again” thinks Judah. Not seeing his brothers’ faces too will help him put some distance between him and this oppressive guilt he is carrying.
“I’m going to visit Hirah” Judah told his brothers while they were out on a long sheep grazing trip.
No one argued with him or told him that he needed to stay. None even wished him a good trip. They simply watched him walk away.
Dan watches Judah’s retreating back. “He’s going to crack you know” he says to Gad.
“Maybe. What are we going to do if he does?”
“I don’t know. He is the one who sold Joseph. We could put it all at his feet.”
Gad is furious! “We were ALL involved in it. We are ALL responsible. His fate is ours as well.”
Dan hangs his head in shame. “I know. I was just thinking out loud.”
“Well, don’t even think silently like that.”
Judah arrives at his friend’s house. Hirah always welcomes him in grand style.
“Judah my friend! You didn’t tell me you were coming. I would have prepared a feast.”
“Not necessary my friend. I just needed to get away from things for a while.”
“Trouble in the sheep business?”
“No. All is fine there. Just needed space. Big family and all” offers Judah.
“I hear that! I heard you recently lost a brother” Hirah offers with sympathy.
“I’d really rather not talk about that” snaps Judah.
Hirah backs up with his hands raised in a submissive stance. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to hit on a sore spot.”
Judah deflates. “It’s just that it is still too raw.”
“Is that part of what you are trying to get away from?”
“Let’s just leave it at that” sighs Judah.
Hirah quickly changes the subject. “I’m going into town tonight. There is a caravan due in with some amazing wares. Want to come check it out with me?”
“A caravan. That’s the LAST thing I want to see” thinks Judah. He can’t tell Hirah that though or even more questions would be lobbed at him. “I was hoping for a quiet night. Maybe next time.”
“I won’t take no for an answer. This caravan is supposed to have some of the best women ever seen in these parts.”
There was no getting out of it. Judah would go with Hirah into town that evening. When they arrived, Judah excused himself and stayed as far away from the caravan as possible. He sat on the side of the city well, watching the people going about their duties.
Out of nowhere steps the most beautiful woman Judah has ever seen. Her hair is raven black and her eyes the color of the sea. Without knowing anything about her, Judah decides that SHE will be his wife.
“First things first” Judah tells himself. “I need to meet her and learn her name.”
The young woman stops at a nearby vendor to inquire about a piece of cloth. Judah steps close enough that he can hear.
“That is an outrageous price. I’ll not pay it.”
“But it is the finest silk in all of Canaan. You would look lovely in it.”
“I will consider it, only if the price is cut in half.”
“Half! I would have no profit at all. How would I feed my family.”
“Keep it then and feed it to your family.” With that, the woman turns to walk away.
“Wait! Half it is” agrees the shopkeeper.
Before turning back to the merchant, Judah sees a smile on the woman’s face. She knows the prize she has won. “I’ll take it” she says and begins fishing some coins from her bag. She exchanges her money for the cloth.
Judah approaches her as she walks away.
“You are a shrewd bargainer” he compliments.
She appraises Judah with a look of caution. “He doesn’t look dangerous” she thinks. “In fact, he looks positively handsome!” “Thank you” she says to Judah as she pretends to brush him off. Secretly, she is hoping that he will continue the conversation.
Her wish is fulfilled when Judah falls into step with her. “My name is Judah. What is yours?”
“I am Shua.” She hesitates for a moment before adding; “I haven’t seen you around here before.”
“I’m visiting a friend. His name is Hirah.”
“I know Hirah. He is a good man. I was planning on going out to his home tomorrow.” Shua quickly adds, “to visit with his daughter.”
Then I will make certain to be there as well” Judah offers with a smile.
Less than a week after meeting Shua, Judah takes her as his wife. They were swept away with passion for one another and waiting would have been impossible. They married at the home of Hirah.
Judah brought Shua back to the company of his Abba. They would make their lives there, among Judah’s family. Neither Lean nor Jacob were thrilled to have Judah choose a Canaanite woman, but there was nothing they could do. The choice had already been made and the marriage consummated.
On the night they consummated their marriage Shua became pregnant. She was a faithful and diligent wife. She would go on to bear two more sons for Judah. Shua fit in well within Jacob’s company. Even Leah learned to love her as she blessed Leah with her first grandchild.
In the town of Hebron, there was a young girl named Tamar. Her parents doted on her as she grew up. She was very beautiful and had a sweet personality. Her greatest wish in life though was to be a mother. She dreamed of having a child of her own for as long as she could remember. She was eager to help anyone with their children whenever asked.
She met Judah’s oldest son Er. He spoke so sweetly to her. He won her heart in no time at all. Er wanted her as his wife.
“Abba.”
“Yes, Er.”
“It is time for me to take a wife. And I desire to make Tamar mine.”
Judah was pleased that Er had found a wife for himself. “I will speak with her Abba tomorrow. We will discuss the bride price at that time.”
The negotiations went smoothly and Er married Tamar right away. Once they were married, Tamar discovered that Er was a different man than the one who spoke sweetly to her when they were courting. He was actually cruel and demanding. He would strike her for any reason he chose. Even for no reason at all.
Tamar bore all of Er’s abuse silently. Her heart ached for her husband to love her and treat her well. But even more than that, she longed to be an Ima. She would put up with whatever she had to, simply for the joy of bearing children.
God saw Tamar’s treatment, even if no one else could, or would. He saw the wickedness in Er’s heart. While out in the field one day, God called Er to account for his treatment of Tamar. Er had been mistreating one of the goats. Causing it pain simply to satisfy his own twisted desires. The goat broke free of Er’s hold and kicked him in the side of the head, causing him immediate death. One of the servants found Er several hours later.
Judah loved Er. He had never witnessed the hurtful side of his nature. Er hid it well from his Abba. But he didn’t hide it from his brother, Onan. Onan hated Er for the abuse he himself suffered at Er’s hands. So, when the time of mourning was completed for Er, and Judah gave Onan Er’s wife to raise up sons to his brother, Onan was furious.
Onan would give NOTHING to Er. Onan did not love Tamar, but she was beautiful. Onan would take her as his wife but would not complete the act required for creating life. He would withdraw himself from her, just in time to spill his sperm on the ground or into a garment. He used Tamar to satisfy his own physical needs while punishing his brother by not allowing her to produce children. And therefore, also punishing Tamar.
Tamar’s heart was broken. She KNEW she would be a good Ima. She had been a good wife to Er and would also be a good wife for Onan, if he would only let her. Both men were set on punishing her to suit their own twisted desires.
God saw Tamar’s pain again, and Onan’s heart filled with hatred. He would require Onan’s life from him too. Onan, right after withdrawing from Tamar once again, basked in the release of his sperm on the ground. The next moment, he seized his chest and cried out in pain. Tamar screamed for help but could do nothing as his breathing stopped and the light drained from his eyes.
Judah’s second son was now dead and Tamar was again a widow. Judah began to wonder if it was Tamar’s fault that his sons had died. “Did she kill them somehow?” He was afraid of the fact that, his customs, required that he give Tamar to his youngest son to raise up children to his brothers. “What if she kills Shelah too” fears Judah.
Judah, unable to break the bonds of tradition, came up with an alternative idea. He would have Tamar remain a widow, with the promise of being married to his youngest son, when he was old enough.
“Remain a widow in your father’s house, till Shelah my son grows up” (verse 11b).
Tamar was faithful to do as Judah commanded. She was not free to seek another husband, so this was her only option. She would wait. And wait she did; well past the time when Shelah was ‘grown up’. “I will be past the age of bearing children if I wait much longer” reasons Tamar. Yet she had no right to go and demand that Judah keep his promise.
After three years in her Abba’s house as a widow, Tamar hears of the death of Shua; Judah’s wife. Tamar waited a little longer, to see if she would be called for. She wasn’t. Tamar was frustrated and lonely. This was NOT the life she had dreamed of as a child.
Tamar realized that no one was going to save her. If she wanted her life to change, she would have to be the one to do it. Tamar knew of the needs of men. How, once they had tasted of women’s bodies, that they would not go long without tasting again. With Shua dead, Judah would find himself in need of comfort. All she had to do was wait until the right time. “If he will not give me his son, he himself will give me a son” Tamar swore to herself.
Tamar had friends who watched the comings and goings of Jacob’s camp. This is how she heard the news of Shua’s passing and how she now knew that Judah was going up to Timnah to sheer his sheep. Sheep sheering always involved a little extra wine and carousing from the men. This was Tamar’s chance. It was far enough away from her Abba’s home and Jacob’s camp that she would not be recognized. And near enough to a city where she could easily offer ‘comfort’ to Judah.
Tamar knew she had to disguise herself. Judah would not willingly do for her what she desperately desired. And she had to have a way to prove that the child she intended to bear was his. It was a dangerous and daring plan, but Tamar was desperate.
Tamar stole away from her Abba’s house and went to Enaim. She dressed herself as a prostitute and wore a veil to cover her face. Tamar recognized Judah in the distance coming toward where she was hiding. She quickly moved into place and sat by the gate. She didn’t have to wait long.
As soon as Judah saw the woman at the gate, he had a stirring in his loins. He had been too long without a woman. And this one was offering herself for any man to use. Judah approached the woman sitting at the gate.
“Come, let me come in to you” (verse16b).
“Got you” Tamar thinks to herself. “What will you give me, that you may come in to me?” (verse 16c).
“I will send you a young goat from the flock” (verse 17a).
“If you give me a pledge, until you send it –” (verse 17b).
“This woman reminds me of Shua and how she bargained” thinks Judah. This makes him want her even more. “What pledge shall I give you?” (verse 18a).
“Your signet and your cord and your staff that is in your hand” (verse 18b) replied the woman.
“I can do that” answers Judah. He handed over his ring, cord and staff and the two of them moved off to a small tent Tamar had set up along the roadside.
As soon as Judah was out of sight, Tamar packed up her things and went home. She hid Judah’s pledged items away in her belongings and returned to her widow’s clothes. She told no one what she did.
Judah tried to keep his word about sending a goat for the woman’s services, but she was no where to be found. When Judah’s servant asked about the cult prostitute, he was told that they didn’t even have one at Enaim. Judah thought it best to forget the whole thing and let the woman keep his pledged items. They were easily replaced. “I tried to honor our bargain. She couldn’t be found, so there is nothing more to do.”
Three months later, it is discovered that Tamar is pregnant. She knew long before she was discovered. She is relishing every minute of it too. She knows that revealing the Abba of the child has to be handled carefully, for her life hangs in the balance. Judah is sure to accuse her of being an immoral woman. And he would be well within his rights to see her dead.
Tamar retrieves the pledges she exacted from Judah and is ready with them when they come for her. Tamar is seized by the arms and propelled out of her Abba’s house. He Abba glares at her and refuses to speak even one word on her behalf. Tamar doesn’t care. She has what she wants and she KNOWS that she will keep it; once the truth is out.
Tamar is not resisting those bringing her out. She is calm and composed. She calls out ahead of her to those listening; especially to her Abba in law. “By the man to whom these belong, I am pregnant” (verse 25b). She holds the items out for inspection. “Please identify whose these are, the signet and the cord and the staff” (verse 25c).
Judah immediately recognizes the items as his own. All bluster and indignation leave him. “Release her, for these are mine. ‘She is more righteous than I, since I did not give her to my son Shelah’ (verse 26b).”
Tamar’s Abba stepped forward now, as if to protect her. Tamar shakes her head. She wants nothing from him. “I will need a tent of my own” Tamar instructs Judah.
“You shall have one.”
Tamar moves back into Jacob’s camp. Her child will be Jacob’s grandchild. Part of the nation God had promised to build.
Leah heard all about how Tamar had achieved her dream. Leah understood Judah’s fear for his son, but Judah certainly treated Tamar unjustly. Leah secretly was proud of Tamar for solving her own problem and reaching for her dream of being an Ima.
Tamar’s time has come. She sends for the midwife and Leah. The midwife and her assistant arrive first, and as they are readying the birthing pallet, Leah hurries in.
“I’m so glad you are here” Tamar says to Leah with great relief.
“I told you I would be” Leah assures her. Leah goes over to where Tamar is sitting and helps her up. She walks her to the birthing palled. Leah and the midwife lower Tamar into position.
“As you are bringing forth two children, it will take a while” cautions the midwife.
Tamar doesn’t care. She has relished every moment of this pregnancy. She is more than ready to endure whatever it takes to bring her children into this world. Only Tamar, the midwife and Leah suspect that this birth will bring more than one child into the world.
Word gets out that Tamar is in labor and it makes it way to Judah. He is in the fields with the sheep. It took some time for the message to reach him and will take him time to return. He wonders if his child will be born before he makes it back into camp. He heads back right away. He has kept his distance from Tamar; never visiting her as a man again, but he dearly wants to meet his child. “Hopefully it will be another son” thinks Judah.
Tamar has labored over half of the day when the midwife tells her that it is time. “Your body is ready. All you need do is listen to it and to my instructions.”
The midwife looks down and is astonished to see an arm reaching out from Tamar’s body. She quickly ties a scarlet thread around the tiny arm. “This one is first into the world” announces the midwife. But as she readies to deliver the child, the arm withdraws. “Ok. Maybe not yet.”
On the next contraction, Tamar begins pushing. Twenty minutes later, her first child is born. “You have a son” announces the midwife. The midwife looks for the scarlet thread. It isn’t on the child. She prays that it wasn’t torn loose during the delivery. It could cause serious problems for Tamar if it was. She promises herself to search for the thread when the delivery is complete. The midwife hands the first child to her assistant for her to clean him.
“It may take a little while for the next babe to line up…”
As the midwife was giving Tamar this caution, the second child begins to emerge. In a moment he too is in the hands of the midwife. “Look at that” she marvels. “You have the thread. So, you are the oldest.”
Tamar has to ask the gender of the second child as the midwife was distracted with the birth events. “Is it a son?”
“Sorry. Yes. You have two beautiful, healthy sons!”
Leah hugs Tamar then goes to retrieve one of the babies.
Judah made it just in time to hear the cry of the first son born. He waits patiently for the one of the women in attendance to let him know the gender of the babe. When a second cry rings out from within the tent, Judah’s heart speeds up. “What is this! Are there twins?” he asks himself. It takes all his restraint to continue waiting for an answer to his question.
Leah finally emerges from the tent to find Judah pacing by the door.
“You act like you have never done this before” she chides him.
“Ima, did I hear right? Are there twins?!”
“You did indeed. You have two sons” announces Leah. Leah hands Judah his first son. “There is an amazing story to go with the birth of your sons. One that will be remembered all their lives. One that may speak of their personalities and paths in life.”
“Tell me about it, Ima.”
“It’s not my story to tell. You will need to ask Tamar.
Tamar shares the story with anyone who asks during the twin’s circumcision ceremony. She tells of how Perez made a breach for himself past his brother Zerah, even though Zerah was the first to touch the outside world. Zerah was by rights the eldest. Jacob, hearing the story is reminded of the stories of his and Esau’s birth. How he held fast to Esau’s heel. Jacob was the second born, but God had promised from before his birth that he would one day rule over his ‘older’ brother. He wondered what roles Perez and Zerah would have later in life. “Order is not everything” thinks Jacob.
(to be continued)
Tamar must have been an amazing woman. One driven by her desire for a child. When I first read Tamar’s story some time ago, I wondered what she thought about being passed down from son to son, like an inheritance. But looking at her story again, I see her clinging to any hope for having a child that she can. And, when one wasn’t forthcoming, she made one herself. She didn’t give up on her dream.
She would never have any more children. Her twins would be it for her. This is because Judah never again touched her and she was not free to marry anyone else. She found her fulfillment in her children, just as Leah eventually did.
I raised my children on my own for 12 years. That was the span between my first husband walking away from ALL of us and my current husband taking on ALL of us. I understand living for your children and finding your purpose in them. Mine certainly kept me alive and loved beyond what I could ever hope for.
Father God, thank You for EACH of my children. Thank You for allowing me to speak truth into their lives. To be part of what they became as adults. And for giving me hope that they will return to the roots You helped me dig deep in them. Bring Your word up from the depths of their hearts when they expect it least. Show them that You DO love them; no matter how far they wander.
Thank You for my parents too. For they introduced me to Your love. I have no idea where I would be today without their grounding influence in my life.
