Proverbs 13:12 Hope

Hope is a powerful thing. It is the beginning of all plans. Seeing it fulfilled is amazing. But having it dashed or repeatedly delayed makes a heart sick.

We are sticking to one verse at a time still as this is a powerful parable. I also have two stories I want to share with you from my experiences. I want to make sure though to make room for the Holy Spirit to lead us where He would too.

Let’s start with defining “hope.” Dictionary.com defines the meaning of hope as:

noun

1. the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best: to give up hope.
2. a particular instance of this feeling: the hope of winning.
3. grounds for this feeling in a particular instance: There is little or no hope of his recovery.
4. a person or thing in which expectations are centered: The medicine was her last hope.
5. something that is hoped for: Her forgiveness is my constant hope.

verb (used with object), hoped, hop·ing.

6. to look forward to with desire and reasonable confidence.
7. to believe, desire, or trust: I hope that my work will be satisfactory.

verb (used without object), hoped, hop·ing.

8. to feel that something desired may happen: We hope for an early spring.
9. Archaic. to place trust; rely (usually followed by in).

This is a pretty detailed list for such a simple word. Yet “hope” is essential to human existence. Without it we perish. It is a piece that God has woven into our very fiber. It is quite probably why we seek Him. We see that He contains a hope we cannot reach without His help. He IS our only true hope.

He is our SURE hope. “We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain, where Jesus our forerunner has entered on our behalf. He has become a high priest forever in the order of Melchizedek” (Hebrews 6:19-20). “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare[a] and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope” Jeremiah 29:11). “For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence, for my hope is from him” (Psalm 62:5).

Faith is born of hope. “Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen” (Hebrews 11:1). “For through the Spirit, by faith, we ourselves eagerly wait for the hope of righteousness” (Galatians 5:5). And a hope fulfilled “is a tree of life” (Proverbs13:12). Jesus is our hope fulfilled. Those who trust in Him will not be put to shame.

But what about the first part of this verse? I want to share with you my experiences with this “heart sickness.” One relates to my husband’s health while the other relates to this blog.

My husband suffered pain for 22 years. It was the results of damage done to him during brain surgery to remove a tumor. At about year 19 he was told of about a new medical device that should significantly reduce if not eliminate his pain. The doctor was excited about the possibilities for him BUT there was a problem. He was just opening his new practice and he had to go through the process of certifying various portions of it. One of which was the “operating room” where the trial procedure would be undertaken. Ok. We can wait. It has already been 19 years, what’s another few months.

Every time we came for an appointment after that we were told it should be completed “any day” now. For more than six months this was the answer we were always given. After all this time, the doctor started rethinking his original decision. Because my husband had pain in both upper and lower extremities the doctor felt an implant in the brain would be better. Ok. So now we are off to see another doctor. Yes! This doctor is already up and running and certified for this procedure. He schedules the new operation within a month. Two days before the day of the operation, our insurance denied coverage for that procedure.

There is yet another procedure that the new doctor believes would work. It is a more invasive brain surgery but the insurance would approve it. But this new surgery takes more equipment than is available at our local hospitals. Now we begin a process for the doctor to get certified and operating privileges at a more advanced hospital. I wrote letters, I called the insurance, and I called the hospitals trying to get this process moving. After more than a year, the doctor was effectively blocked from work in our area. Because of the difficulties he even began to transition his practice back to California. We were hopeful that he would receive privileges in his new hospital so he could do the surgery there. He said that being new he had to wait at least six months before he could even consider making the request. So we continued to wait.

A year and a half after the first glimpse of hope went by with nothing to show for it but more waiting in the wings. Then my husband was hospitalized because his good hand stopped working. With all the testing to find out the cause of his problem, it was discovered that he was having seizures. They were what was also causing him more falls. Once this was discovered, we were told there was NO WAY the brain stimulator could be implanted. All hope was removed and we were both heart sick.

After having the hope of one day being in less pain was stripped from him, he spiraled into depression. Would this ever end? Finally, after more than two year, I asked the original doctor if we could at least try the spinal cord stimulator and see if it helped. He decided to give it a try and placed the electrodes as high as possible on the spinal cord in hopes of reaching both regions of pain.

IT WORKED! The trial had my husband almost pain free for a full week! Now on to the real implant. Our neurologist said it would never work but we ploughed on instead. Three months later he finally had the fully functioning device in operation. He was able to reduce pain medication and still be pain free. Today, four years later, he is off all pain medication and the device still keeps him almost pain free. He has breakthroughs occasionally but we handle them by adjusting the device. A hope fulfilled is a tree of life! His life is MUCH better now.

I know that took a long time to tell. I hope you will bear with me for one more story. This one is what started this blog to begin with.

I was worried about finances and started looking for ways to earn money from home. An agency contacted me about creating a blog where I could put ads and generate money from traffic. I agreed and decided to use it as a way to share my bible study time with others.

I did everything I was told to do and no money was generated. But I was enjoying writing and sharing what God shared with me, so I kept going anyway. I stopped worrying about the money side and just concentrated on God’s side of it.

Two years later, another company contacts me and tells me that I have made great progress on my own and they want to help me finally make money with my blog. I agreed, so long as I didn’t have to change how I shared. More money poured in later and no changes, including no money generated. In fact, they created another site for me instead and linked it with Facebook. I had to make them change all of it to link this site with Facebook instead. Then we parted ways.

Another two years go by and they contact me again. They are excited with my progress and have sponsors ready to place ads on my site “right now” that would generate a significant monthly income. All I need to do is upgrade my security on my site. NINE months later and MORE money poured out and ALL their promises were outright LIES. I fought like a tiger and recovered a SMALL portion of my money and told them to NEVER contact me again. To get my refund I also had to agree not to sue them.

Poorer, but richer because I no longer can be tricked by these people. My heart was sick looking at all I had poured into the hope that was held out before me. But, just last week the Attorney General of Arizona contacted me about a new case involving this company. They stated that under Arizona law, which is where this outfit is based, I am entitled to a FULL refund for the services I was sold over the phone. I joined that suit already in progress. I am leaving it in God’s hands as far as recovering my money goes. All I really want is for them not to be able to do this again to anyone else. And so I have hope again. Praying it won’t be too long deferred.

Father God, thank You for being my TRUE hope. Anything else is ‘gravy’. I know I am secure with You because You fulfill the hope You placed in me. You built that hope into my very foundation. And You called it to the surface at just the right time. Then, You held me and called me Your own.

THANK YOU for the miracle of modern medicine You provided for my husband. Thank You for helping him through this whole process. Please now heal the itching that he is suffering instead. Help the doctors know how to treat it and do so right away.

Thank you also for the hard lessons learned. They were painful but I will never forget them. I leave it in Your hands as to what I receive back. Whatever it is, I will put it into helping my husband increase his strength.