Genesis 30 A Flock His Own
Jacob has paid off Laban for both of his wives. He wants to leave, but Laban convinces him to stay on and earn a flock of his own.
Before I jump in here, I did a little research on whether Jacob’s ‘breeding program’ would work. Science has proven that it does! I’ll leave you with a link to the website I found.
Jacob worked for seven years to get Rachel, and wound up with Leah. He was given Rachel in advance for seven more years of work. When he has paid Laban completely for both wives, he is ready to get out of there! Laban was NOT an easy man to work for. He kept changing the terms of his arrangements, and he would continue to do so for as long as Jacob was with him.
Laban KNEW that God blessed everything Jacob touched. He also knew that Jacob was penniless at the end of those 14 years. So, he comes up with a plan that will ‘benefit’ both of them. He doesn’t specify a time frame, but we learn that Jacob put in six years working for Laban while raising his own flock.
The timeline in our story puts Reuben at eight years old when Joseph is born. We don’t know exactly how old Jacob’s sons were, but I’m going to stick with my timeline for continuity of this story. Let’s rejoin Jacob and his family as they continue in Haran for another five years.
♥ ♦ ♥
The morning after Joseph’s circumcision ceremony Jacob decides it is time to talk to Laban. He has been wanting to return to Canaan; the land God promised him. The land God told him that He would bring him back to. It’s time to go home.
Jacob leaves his sons in the care of the servants and seeks out Laban. Laban is looking out over his flocks.
Laban sees Jacob approaching. “Wonderful ceremony last night” he calls out to Jacob.
“Good. He is in a good mood” thinks Jacob. “Yes. It was” Jacob calls back.
Jacob joins Laban in looking over the flock. He knows this won’t be an easy conversation but it is one he must have.
“Senf me away, that I may go to my own home and country. Give me my wives and my children for whom I have served you, that I may go, for you know the service that I have given you” (verses 25-26).
Laban knew the time was up for Jacob’s ‘payment’ for his brides. He also knew that Jacob’s God blesses everything he touched. Laban had profited greatly from Jacob’s service. He did NOT want that blessing to get away. He had a plan already in place for when this day came.
“If I have found favor in your sight, I have learned by divination that the Lord has blessed me because of you. Name your wages, and I will give it” (verses 27-28).
Jacob is not stupid. He knows that, if he leaves now, he will be leaving only with his wives and children. He has no flocks or herds of his own. He has been tending Laban’s this whole time. Laban is finally offering him an opportunity to be ‘paid’ for his work. This sounds like a good deal to him. He will be doing the same thing that he has been doing since the day he arrived. Only this time, the increase will be his. And Jacob was prepared with an answer for Laban. For, he too had been thinking about this day.
“You yourself know his I have served you, and how your livestock has fared with me. For you had little before I came, and it has increased abundantly, and the Lord has blessed you wherever I turned. But now when shall I provide for my own household also?” (verses 29-30).
Laban asked, “What shall I give you?” (verse 31a).
Jacob does NOT want to give Laban ANY future stake in what he acquires to provide for his own household. “You shall not give me anything. If you will do this for me, I will again pasture your flock and keep it: let me pass through all your flock today, removing from it every speckled and spotted sheep and every black lamb, and the spotted and speckled among the goats, and they shall be my wages. So my honesty will answer for me later, when you come to look into my wages with you. Every one that is not speckled and spotted among the goats and black among the lambs, if found with me, shall be counted as stolen” (verses 31b-64).
Laban was a tricky man, and he had seen this coming. He had, just this morning, taken all of the speckled and spotted goats and sheep from his flocks. He also removed all the black lambs. Everything that Jacob said he would take as wages was already removed by the time Jacob and Laban started going through the flocks. Laban didn’t just set them aside. He sent them out with his sons to a place that would take them three days to reach.
Laban was not fooling Jacob. Jacob knew Laban’s flocks and herds better than Laban. Jacob easily spotted the absence of the very wages he had asked for. He held his tongue though. He did not point out the decrease in number. He accepted the herd as it was and would do his best for Laban in carrying for them.
Jacob came home that evening and told Rachel what had been done to him. “Your Abba asked me to stay on and work for him for a while longer. This work will be to gather a flock of my own. When I have gathered enough, then we will leave.” He didn’t see any reason to tell her that her Abba had cheated him into starting with nothing. “I had nothing when I came, and that is where I will start from again” he told himself.
Jacob was an expert in breeding. And he was an astute observer. He had noticed that the sheep who fed near the juniper trees has more spotted and streaked lambs than those who didn’t. Jacob tried an experiment. He gathered the branches of the poplar and almond trees. He then peeled strips of the bark off. Not all of the bark, but part of it. And he laid these in the water troughs for the flocks. Jacob knew that the sheep bred when they came to drink, therefore the effects of the poplar and almond trees would be greatest here.
Jacob kept track of which sheep came and drank from the troughs with the sticks. He has his sons helped him in this. Simeon was the best at this. His Abba would point out a sheep and he would find some difference in it that he could find again. When the lambs were born, he would be able to tell his Abba if that sheep had drunk from the water with the sticks in it. Jacob would use this to track whether the process worked or not.
A month after Joseph’s birth, Judah had his fifth birthday. It was time for his Abba to take him to sacrifice to his God. Judah was the youngest of Leah’s first group of children. And he had been allowed to ‘be a baby’ the longest. But he didn’t remain a ‘baby’ when the younger boys began coming with Jacob. Judah became an example for the younger boys. He was quick to obey his Abba as well as pick up new tasks.
Another thing Judah was, was full of joy. Judah still loved to make people smile. He would break into song at the slightest provocation. Even in the hard times, Judah found something to be glad about. And he wasn’t shy about sharing his reasons for being glad.
When Jacob and Judah picked their lamb, Judah quickly chose the best lamb. He brought him to his Abba without hesitation. Jacob was surprised with Judah’s attitude. He was certain that Reuben, Simeon and Levi had told him what to expect today. That the lamb would give its life for their sacrifice. But Judah showed no apprehension or hesitation at all.
Judah nearly skipped on the way to the altar. Jacob kept shaking his head. He hoped that Judah wouldn’t crumble when the time came for the lamb to be prepared for the sacrifice.
Jacob had Judah gather the wood for the fire. Judah sang to himself while he worked. Jacob arranged it all on the altar. Then he called Judah to him.
“Judah.”
“Yes Abba.”
“Did your older brothers tell you what would happen today? With the lamb?”
“Yes, Abba. They did.”
“Did you know that it made each of them cry? Levi even cried when he chose the lamb, because he knew what would happen to it.”
“I know Abba. Levi told me of the hard lesson and how it hurt for a long time.”
“Can I ask you why you don’t seem afraid or sad at all?”
“Because I will be sharing this with God. I am happy because I will get to make Him happy.”
“But this is a solemn time. One to be taken quite seriously. It is not a game.”
“I know Abba. I know that it will be sad to see the lamb die, but it will bring God a good gift.”
“It will at that” agreed Jacob.
“And I know that hard things are easier for me when I make my heart look at the happy parts. When I sing instead of cry. My songs make me happy. My songs are about the good things, the things that God has done for us.”
“You choose joy in the times of sadness” asked Jacob.
“Uh hu.”
“So, what are you choosing to look at now, when we are ready to offer the lamb to the Lord?”
“I am looking at having a meal with God. At sharing special time together. I can do the hard parts because I KNOW there are good parts too.”
“You are very wise my son.” Jacob thought about his own time with the Lord and realized that this is exactly how he got past the ‘hard parts’; by focusing on the good instead. “One thing that is important about choosing the good parts, is not to rush through the bad parts. There are many lessons that can be learned in the hard parts. You have to honor those times too.”
“I do Abba. I turn them into songs about how I am not there anymore.”
Jacob completed the sacrifice with Judah; allowing him time to focus on the lamb and what it meant as well as enjoying the ‘meal’ with God. Judah even took a moment to stroke the lamb’s head before Jacob put the knife to it and told the lamb that it would make God smile, so it could smile too.
Jacob came away from this time at his altar a different man. He promised Judah that he would try looking for the good things, even in the bad times.
Jacob is still waiting for the first lambs of his experiment to be born. During the waiting, Dan reached his fifth birthday; only two months after Judah. It was time for Jacob to take him to meet with God.
Dan was so much different than Judah. Dan wanted everything to be fair and just. When he first realized that there was a difference between him and Naphtali when compared to Leah’s children, he wanted to know why. “Why don’t we all live in the same tent?” “Why do we eat with Abba and they don’t?” And “Why does Abba not play with them in the evenings?” Rachel had a hard time answering these questions. She finally resorted to, “Because, that’s the way it is.” Dan didn’t like that answer, but it was the last one that Ima Rachel would give him.
Jacob took Dan to pick out a lamb for the sacrifice on the Sabbath following his fifth birthday. Jacob was certain that Dan would have a lot of questions. He was always full of them. He also had no idea how much Leah’s older sons had told him of the sacrifice. Jacob was prepared to meet Dan wherever he was at in this process.
Levi was the one who had told Dan about the sacrifice. And he also shared his special lesson about always giving God our best. This is what guided Dan in choosing the lamb for his Abba today. Dan carefully judged each lamb. He wanted the perfect lamb. One that could walk straight, had no spots, was clean, and was the biggest. He ruled out several who only partly het his criteria. Finally, he chose one. It was not the biggest, but he judged it to be the best. Its fleece was so clean it nearly shone in the sunlight. It didn’t have any spots on it. And when it walked, it always held its head high. “This is the one” Dan said as he readied to slip the rope around its neck.
Dan walked slowly up to the lamb, trying to ensure that it didn’t run away from him. He spoke softly to it in hopes that it would welcome him. It didn’t. The lamb bolted and Dan took off after it. Jacob watched him as he went after the lamb. The scene brought tears of laughter to Jacob’s eyes. By the time the rope was around the lamb’s neck, Dan was covered in filth. He handed his Abba the end of the rope.
“Before we go any further, we need to clean you up.”
Dan began to brush at his clothes. “I’m ok Abba.”
“No, Dan. We need to wash you. We want to be at our best when we approach the Lord.”
Dan was no fan of soap and water, but he would do whatever his Abba asked of him.
Jacob led Dan back to their tent where Rachel quickly helped him wash and change his clothes. Then they went to the place where Jacob’s altar to God was.
On the way there, Jacob realized that Dan’s dirty clothes could be used as a ‘teaching moment’ for God. The lesson Jacob wanted to teach didn’t lend itself as easily as his other son’s had, but it was just as important. And it had to do with Dan’s nature; to judge things.
“Dan.”
“Yes, Abba.”
“Did you wonder why I took you home to clean up before we came this way?”
“You told me it was because we needed to be our best when we meet with your God.”
“That’s true. I’m glad you were listening. But did you know that there is more than one way to be clean?”
“Like what Abba?”
“We went home so you could clean up on the outside. But God wants us to clean up on the inside as well.”
Dan thought for a moment, then asked; “Does God want me to eat soap?”
Jacob laughed. “No. God does not want you to eat soap. Eating soap would not reach the place God wants us to clean.”
“Where is it and how do I clean it?”
“It is your heart and mind.”
Dan looked down at his chest. “I wash there when I take a bath.”
“But that is still on the outside. God wants us to judge our thoughts and actions. He wants us to choose to do good and not evil. And when we do evil, he wants us to clean our hearts with repentance. He wants us to say we are sorry and make right what we did wrong; if we can.”
“Like when Issachar pushes Zebulun?”
“That is a good example. Or like when one of your brothers plays a mean trick on you.”
“That makes me angry. I don’t like it when they play tricks on me. One time, Reuben hid my favorite ball and I couldn’t find it. For a WHOLE DAY!”
“It sounds like you still get mad when you think about it.”
“I do. That was mean of Reuben.”
“It was. But it is also over. Did Reuben apologize for playing that trick on you?”
“He did when I cried.”
“Did you tell Reuben that you forgave him?”
“No. I didn’t say anything. He just gave me my ball, said he was sorry, and I went home to Ima.”
“It sounds like you still have a ‘dirty spot’ in your heart against Reuben.”
“Why is it dirty?”
“Because it is unforgiveness. And it makes our hearts as dirty as if we had done something wrong to another.”
Dan thought this over but said nothing. Jacob pressed on.
“You know how sometimes you do things that make your Ima or even me angry?”
Dan lowers his head. “Yes.”
“What happens when you tell your Ima or me that you are sorry?”
“You say that you forgive me.”
“That’s right. And we CHOOSE to forgive you because we love you. If we didn’t forgive you, our relationship with you would become ugly and strained. We wouldn’t be able to talk to each other in a nice way anymore.”
“Like you and Ima Leah?”
That one struck Jacob hard. He had vowed to be honest with his children, so he had to admit to this fault. “Yes. Ima Leah and I have a broken relationship. And I need to work on mending it. I need to wash my heart and mind.”
Jacob and Dan walked on for a few moments in silence before Jacob could return to the lesson he was hoping to teach. And that he needed to learn himself.
“When we make a sacrifice to the Lord, we not only spend time with Him, but we work on our relationship with Him. We tell Him that we are sorry for the bad things that we have done and ask Him to forgive us. And do you know what He does?”
“What?”
“He forgives us. He washes our hearts with His love. Just like Ima makes your heart feel better when she forgives you. And because God forgives us, even when we do very bad things, He tells us to forgive other people who do bad things to us.”
“Like you and grand Abba Laban and the sheep?”
“That’s right. God helps me forgive grand Abba Laban, even though he didn’t say he was sorry. I had to choose to show him respect instead of staying angry. I had to judge my heart and clean out the bad spots so God could continue to bless me. If I stayed mad, God would have every right to stay mad at me. Instead, He has given me an idea to help fix what grand Abba Laban tried to do to me. I have to love grand Abba, even if he never says he is sorry, and trust God to give me what I need for our family; all of us.”
“So I should forgive Reuben?”
“That is a choice you will have to make yourself. Just remember, if you don’t forgive others, God won’t forgive you.”
This conversation took up the entire trip to the altar. When the two arrived, Jacob set about preparing the sacrifice. Dan gathered the wood and Jacob arranged it on the altar. As Jacob was preparing to put the knife to the lamb’s neck, Dan spoke up. “I will choose to forgive Reuben. I don’t want a dirty spot on my heart.”
“And I will choose to forgive Leah” Jacob thought.
Dan felt a lightness in his heart, like it wasn’t so heavy anymore.
The first lambs of the breeding program are being born, and just as Jacob hoped, they are spotted and striped. Something that Jacob didn’t expect is that of the ewes who have spotted lambs, MANY of them are twins. Not every ewe that ate by the stick had spotted lambs, but enough of them did that Jacob was convinced that his experiment was a success. This would be the way that Jacob would increase his flocks.
As soon as the lambs were born, Jacob separated all the spotted, striped, and black lambs and their dams from the rest of the flock. He put Reuben and Simeon in charge of his first flock. When the lambs were weaned, the ewes would be returned to Laban’s flock. Jacob only had to wait another three months after the final lambs were born for the next breeding season to start.
Reuben and Simeon are elated that their Abba has entrusted them with such a special task. Their task will grow with each new lamb and its dam that are born that bear markings on their skin. It also means that they will spend less time with their Abba each day.
“Abba, what do we do if there is trouble” asks Simeon.
“What kind of trouble” Jacob asks.
“If the sheep break away or if there is a wolf.”
“The sheep will learn your voice the more time you spend with them. They will get to the point that they will choose to come to you because they know you. That only happens though when you spend time with them. Scratching their ears, rubbing their noses, bringing them treats. Now if a wolf or wild dog appears SHOUT for all you are worth and we will come to you. DO NOT get between the wolf and the sheep. I would rather loose every sheep in the whole valley than either of you.” Jacob looks at both his sons to ensure they understand how important they are to him. That he loves them more than anything else.
“When you are bigger, I will train you with the staff and sling. These are the weapons the grown men use when defending the sheep” Jacob assures them.
Reuben and Simeon turn out to be the sheep’s ‘best friends’. Once the nursing dams were returned to Laban’s flocks, the lambs were always at the boy’s heels. If they tried to leave the field before the flock was settled for the night, they would follow the boys, no matter how hard they discouraged them or told them to go back.
While Jacob waited, he worked on refining his breeding technique. He decided to lay the sticks in all the herd’s locations but ONLY with the strongest sheep in each flock. He would let Laban keep the weaker sheep and goats and their offspring. He also continued teaching his sons the lessons they would need in life.
In his quiet time, Jacob also worked on his own heart. This was not easy for him. His history of hatred for Leah went back to the moment he woke with her in his arms instead of Rachel. The first thing he had to do to tear down that hate was to realize that it was not Leah who made this switch. She was as much a victim as he was. Jacob was ashamed of how he had added to her pain. No. He didn’t love her, but neither could he go on hating her for something her Abba had done to both of them.
Over the years, Jacob’s treatment of Leah had gotten better. They were able to interact cordially over their children, but after Rachel became pregnant with Joseph, they had become almost spiteful again. And, thanks to his conversation with Dan, he knew the children saw it. “I have some work to do” Jacob told himself, not for the first time with this issue.
The day for Zebulun’s weaning ceremony comes while Jacob is waiting for his second breeding season with the flocks. He is two years old when Leah finally weans him. Leah wonders what his celebration will be like; especially after the grand celebration of Joseph’s circumcision. She has a feeling it will be about the same as all the previous children experienced. And she is fine with that. Her making special cakes, the people gathering, the feasting, and congratulations to Zebulun.
Leah hopes it will be a little more, as Zebulun is her final son. She has no illusions that Jacob will seek her again for more children. This is not a disappointment to her. Her own body has provided him with seven sons and a daughter. That should be enough.
Leah’s hopes for a bigger ceremony go unanswered. Zebulun is honored as fully as each of his brothers were. He was definitely the ‘guest of honor’ as his Abba paraded him around to all the guests and spoke of his great accomplishment. Zebulun beams with pride at every complement. He doesn’t even notice that his youngest brother is receiving almost as much attention; Joseph, Rachel’s child.
Leah was relieved when the night was over. This would be the last weaning ceremony for her children. Zebulun would join his brothers in the morning with their Abba. Dinah would not have any ceremonies until her wedding day. Leah could breathe easily. A large portion of her tasks as a dam were behind her.
Jacob came to pick up the boys the next morning. He asked them all to wait outside while he spoke with Leah for a minute. Leah had no idea what Jacob had in mind, and it made her nervous.
“I want to apologize for holding you responsible for your Abba’s acts so long ago. It was unfair of me.”
Leah is stunned into silence. She doesn’t know how to answer Jacob.
“I know that I have treated you shamefully for too long. I ask your forgiveness.”
Leah thinks that she must be dreaming. She had dreamed of Jacob loving her someday, but never of him asking her forgiveness for his behavior towards her. She fights back the tears that threaten to swamp her and simply nods her head in acceptance of Jacob’s apology.
Leah has no idea how this will impact their interactions, but she holds no illusions that it is Jacob promising to love her. But she will take whatever improvements she can get.
This will not be an overnight change for either of them. Repairing their relationship will take MANY years. And many more requests for forgiveness from both of them.
The second breeding season is upon Jacob. He holds off on breeding his flock as they are not even a year old by that time. He chooses to put his ‘selective breeding’ ideas in place this year. He will need the help of several of his sons, as he cannot be in all places at all times.
Levi, Dan and Judah will carry juniper and almond sticks that Jacob prepares. Jacob will tell them where and when to place them, and when to retrieve them.
Jacob gathers the sticks and brings them to a spot where he and the boys will peek them. Jacob cuts circles in the bark and then cuts a split to connect two circles. Levi, Dan and Judah will peel these split sections from the branches, exposing portions of the wood beneath.
The boys compete to see who can peel fastest.
“Now, when you place these in the water, be careful that no one sees you.”
“Not even Levi” asks Dan.
“You can watch one another but don’t let anyone else see you. This is our secret” cautions Jacob.
The boys are excited about this game of ‘hide and seek’.
“I will tell you where and when to put them down and pick them back up.”
The next morning, before Jacob can carry out his plan, Laban comes to him.
“Jacob.”
“Here is am.”
“We need to speak of the flocks. The last seasons, you gained much of my new lambs. This is because you took the spotted, the striped, and the black sheep and goats. This year, you will only be allowed to keep the striped lambs and kids. The spotted and black will belong to me.”
Jacob wanted to protest that this was not their agreement, but he didn’t. Instead, he put his trust in his God. He chose to forgive Laban, even though the wrong that Laban was doing was still going on. Jacob would leave this in the hands of the Lord.
Dan, Levi and Judah are ready and waiting when the breeding season began in earnest. Jacob chooses his spots well before he sends the boys out.
“Dan, you will take the high pasture, Levi the center and Judah the lowlands. Remember; don’t let anyone see you putting down or picking up the sticks. If anyone does approach you, pretend that you are simply playing with them.”
“How would we do that Abba” asks Dan.
“Lay them down on the ground is different patterns. Make roads with them, build houses, whatever you can think of until the people leave you alone. Then continue on your task. If you are caught near the sheep, you can pretend you are the shepherd and are moving the sheep with the sticks. Don’t hit any of the sheep, just nudge them with the sticks if you have to.”
“There are some sheep that we don’t want to use the sticks with. Those are the weak sheep. I will point out to each of you which sheep they are. When those sheep come to drink, quickly take the sticks out of the water. We do not want any of their lambs.”
Jacob gives them one last instruction. “If you are caught, and pretending you are playing is not enough, tell the truth. Say, ‘My Abba asked me to bring these sticks to the sheep’. I will deal with anything more. You will not be in trouble, from me or the other shepherds.”
The three boys do an excellent job of following Jacob’s instruction. They have four months of moving the sticks around. They get really good at sneaking through the fields and pretending. Jacob feels certain that God would bless his, and their, efforts again.
Naphtali reached his fifth birthday between the breeding season and the birth of the lambs. It is time for Jacob to take him to his altar and introduce him to his God.
Jacob takes Naphtali on the Sabbath after his fifth birthday to the sheep pen. Naphtali has heard what will happen today from his older brothers. Naphtali is not so sure he wants to go with his Abba. Why can’t his Abba choose one of the other boys to go with him instead. Naphtali drags his feet and finds any excuse he can to delay the journey.
“Naphtali.”
“Yes, Abba.”
“Is there something wrong” Jacob asks after the third time Naphtali stopped to play with some stones on the ground.
Naphtali doesn’t know if his Abba will be angry with him, if he tells him that he doesn’t want to meet his God. He is afraid. He stares at the ground and says nothing.
“Naphtali, look at me” Jacob says while bending down to his son’s level.
Naphtali looks up and Jacob can see tracks from where tears have streaked Naphtali’s face.
“Why are you crying? Are you hurt?”
Naphtali shakes his head but his mouth stays tight shut.
“Son, you have to tell me what is bothering you if I am to understand, and help you.”
In a small voice, Naphtali answers; “I don’t want to go to meet your God.”
Jacob is stunned. ALL of his children have been excited to go to meet with God. They all had concerns, but none of them tried to avoid it like Naphtali. “Why do you not want to meet God?”
“I don’t want the lamb to die. I want to stay home and play with Dan.” Jacob waits, certain that there is more. Naphtali finally adds; “I’m scared.”
“What are you afraid of? Is it only the killing the lamb part, or is there more?”
“I’m afraid your God won’t like me.”
“And why wouldn’t He not like you” asks Jacob.
“Because I’m not a good boy. I do things that make Ima Rachel mad. I don’t think she likes me anymore. Maybe your God won’t like me either.”
Jacob’s heart feels Naphtali’s pain. Rachel has been short with Dan and Naphtali since Joseph was born. Jacob knows that he will have to address that when he gets home, but he needs to address Naphtali’s fear of not being good enough first.
Jacob stands up and draws Naphtali to a place where they can sit and talk.
“Did you know that I sometimes feel like I am not a good Abba? Sometimes not even a good man.”
“But you are a good Abba.”
“Thank you for saying so. But sometimes I don’t wrestle the bad thoughts sometimes. And sometimes those thoughts turn into bad actions. Does that make me a bad person?”
“No. I don’t think so.”
“What that makes me is a man who has made a mistake. That is when I need to wrestle with the thoughts that tell me I’m bad the most. And I bring my mistakes to God. He hears my heart’s cry when I say ‘I’m sorry’ and he forgives me. Just like Ima Rachel forgives you when you make mistakes.”
“But she really gets mad when I do it again” confesses Naphtali. “I try not to, but I forget.”
“That is what I mean by wrestling with bad thoughts and wants. I have to make those thought leave me alone by wrestling them to the ground. Just like you do with Issachar when he keeps pestering you. After you pin him to the ground, he stops.”
“But how do I pin bad thoughts. I can’t hold their hands down like I can with Issachar.”
“You tell the bad ones to GO AWAY and replace them with good thoughts. Thoughts of what you should do instead.”
“But what if they don’t go away?”
“You say you are sorry and try again the next time. There will always be a next time to practice on and to be ready for.”
“Even for you Abba?”
“Even for me. As long as we are living, there will be a next time. A next time to make a mistake and a next time to make it better. And you know what?”
“What?”
“God will ALWAYS give us a ‘next time’ to make it better. He loves us and has plans for our lives. Even when we make mistakes.”
“So, He won’t think I’m a bad boy?”
“No. He knows you are a good boy that sometimes makes mistakes. And He LOVES helping us wrestle with our mistakes and fix them.”
Naphtali sits and thinks this over and Jacob waits.
“I think I want to go see Him now Abba.”
“I’m certain He wants to see you too.”
As Naphtali eats his porting of the lamb, he thinks about how he will wrestle his bad thoughts and pin them to the ground. But most of all he thinks about how God still let him come share a meal with him, even when he makes mistakes.
Jacob waited a week after his trip to the altar with Naphtali to address Rachel. He loved her with all his heart, but even she needed to ‘wrestle’ her bad thoughts, actions and attitudes into submission. His children were important. He had to admit that Joseph was his favorite by far, but the others needed to know that they were loved too.
“Rachel.”
“Yes, my husband” said Rachel with a smile on her face.
“We need to talk about something.” Jacob’s tone dimmed that smile.
“What is it my husband?”
“It is about the story of Sarah and Hagar.”
Rachel is on alert. She knows that something is wrong. “What about them?”
“Do you remember how Sarah treated Ishmael?”
“Yes. She treated him with contempt. After Isaac was born, she drove Hagar and Ishmael from the camp.”
“Naphtali is hurting. He feels like you don’t love him anymore. Are Dan and Naphtali becoming Ishmael? Have you taken your love for them and given it only to Joseph?”
Rachel says nothing. Jacob’s arrow has not missed its mark. She had been pushing Dan and Naphtali away, now that she had Jacob. Her cheeks burn with shame.
“I will never drive my sons from the camp, or from our tent. Not even for you. You are my heart and they are my flesh and blood. One cannot survive without the other.”
Rachel knows that she has some apologizing to do to the boys and some work on her own heart. She had promised herself that she would not do as Sarah had done. Yet, here she was, following in her footsteps. “I will speak with the boys. I am sorry; to you and to them.”
When Rachel puts the boys to bed that evening, she kneels down beside their pallet and confesses her sin to them.
“I want to tell you that I am sorry for the way I have been acting lately. There is no excuse for it. I know I have hurt you by being so hard on you. I have been unforgiving and quick to judge you wrong, without even knowing the details of the matter.”
Dan and Naphtali stare silently at their Ima. They are afraid to anger her.
“I promise I will do better. Not just try, but actually DO better. I’m sorry that I made you doubt my love for you.” Rachel pauses before continuing on. She knows she has to be honest with her sons. “I have to confess that I am imperfect and I chose a favorite. Not because I don’t love you, but because I waited so long to have a baby all my own. Joseph is the baby I longed for all my life.”
Tears form in Naphtali’s eyes, but he doesn’t let them fall.
“I also wanted and waited for each of you. I love you ALL. And that is the truth. But I also love each of you different. I will NEVER push you from my heart; no matter what. Please forgive me and help me to be a better Ima” pleads Rachel to her sons.
Naphtali and Dan both rise up and embrace their Ima.
“I’m sorry too Ima for being a bad boy. I’m sorry I made you mad”, said Naphtali.
“You are NOT a bad boy Naphtali. You are a growing boy who will make mistakes. And it is up to me to love you through them. And to forgive you and ASSURE you that you are STILL loved; no matter what. I am sorry I failed to do that. We will work on our relationship together from now on.”
Naphtali slept better that night than he had in months. He was certain that his Ima still loved him; even when he made mistakes.
As the lambs and kids were being born, Laban noticed that the majority of them had coats with stripes. These were the ones Jacob would receive. Mid way through Laban changed his mind and told Jacob that he could have the spotted ones from then on. Jacob separated his lambs and kids, with their dams, from the early part of the season, so they would not be confused with Labans. Once Jacob’s flock was removed, the ewes began having spotted lambs; Jacob’s new ‘wages’. Jacob separated and marked his latest animals and their dams, making certain to do so under Laban’s watchful eye. He is not about to have Laban accuse him of cheating him. Even though Laban has already cheated Jacob.
Gad reached his fifth birthday between the sheep being born and them being weaned. Life was moving fast in fits and spurts, but Jacob would still make time to bring Gad to his altar to meet with God.
Gad had heard all the stories from his older brothers about their trips to visit Abba’s God. He took several of the lessons to heart, for he didn’t want to repeat any of his brother’s mistakes or have the issues that their Abba had to address with them. He resolved to give God his best and to judge his heart. These are the things that he thought were the most important.
The Sabbath after Gad’s fifth birthday, he and Jacob set off for Jacob’s altar by way of the sheep pen. Gad is trying his best to show respect to this day and to focus solely on his Abba’s God. He is careful when picking the lamb, just as Dan told him to be. He even considers his own favorite lamb, as Levi had failed to do. But his favorite isn’t the best one. Gad finally chooses one that has the gentlest eyes while still meeting the other criteria for perfection.
Jacob has been watching Gad during this process. He is not displeased with Gad’s choice, but he wonders what made him choose this one. He kept looking back and forth between three final options. They were all equally acceptable in Jacob’s eyes, but something brought Gad to choose this one. Gad smiled at the lamb and patted its head as he made his final decision.
As they were walking to the altar, Jacob could hold his curiosity no longer. “Gad.”
“Yes, Abba.”
“Can I ask you a question?”
“Yes Abba.”
“What made you finally choose this lamb?”
Gad had heard from his brothers that Abba liked to teach them lessons along the way. Some of the lessons were harder than others. He didn’t know what to expect when his Abba asked him this question. Would it bring a hard lesson? At first, he was afraid to answer so he remained quiet.
“You are not in trouble Gad. It was a fine choice. It is just that you smiled when you chose this lamb. I’m curious as to where that smile meant to you.”
Gad doesn’t see a bad lesson coming from this question so he feels safe in answering.
“I liked this one because it has kind eyes. His eyes made me feel happy and safe.”
“How do you feel about the fact that we will be sacrificing this lamb and giving him to God?”
“I thought God would like his kind eyes too. And I can look in his eyes and make mine kind for him.”
“What do you mean when you say ‘kind eyes’.”
“Eyes that say, ‘I love you’ because when they look at you there in no mean in them. Like your eyes Abba. Eyes that say, ‘even if this hurts, it will still be alright.’ Eyes that always look for good and not bad.”
“Those are wonderful eyes. Eyes that I pray I always have. They also remind me of my God’s eyes.”
“God has eyes!?”
Jacob laughed. “Not eyes like you and me, but eyes that see into our hearts. His eyes always say that He loves us. That ‘even if this hurts, it will be alright’ when He is teaching us something we need to learn. Eyes that always look for the good in us instead of the bad. He sees the bad too, but His eyes tell us that He will help us fix it.”
“I will tell this lamb that I love it with my kind eyes. And God can tell him that He loves him too.”
“I’m certain He will.”
Gad is glad he got to look into the lamb’s eyes and tell him he loved him before Abba made him a sacrifice. And he whispered that he still loved him as he shared his meal with his Abba and his Abba’s God. He was sure his Abba’s God was looking at him with kind eyes too. Abba told him it was so, and his Abba never lies.
Once weaning was complete, Jacob returned the dams and she goats to Laban’s flocks. Jacob more than doubled his original flock in this second year. And they were of the healthiest animals. His first-year flock would be ready for breeding the coming year. Jacob had to hire help because the flock was too large for his sons alone. Jacob split his flock in two and sent Reuben and Levi to watch over one, and Simeon and Judah to watch over the other.
“Remember, make friends with the lambs and they will follow you wherever you go. And DO NOT try and stop a wolf or other animal from taking the sheep. YELL as LOUD as you can and we will come to help you. I value you each MORE than all the sheep in the world!”
When breeding season came, Jacob enlisted the services of Dan, Naphtali and Gad to move the sticks around. Dan did it last year so he could help his brothers learn what to do. Jacob believed that his flock would continue to bear striped and spotted lambs, but, just in case, he had Levi and Judah put sticks for them too. Jacob didn’t want to take a chance on having a solid white lamb and Laban saying he stole it.
“I will tell you which sheep not to give the sticks to. And, remember to keep this our secret” Jacob told all five boys as he worked on the sticks they would use this year.
Naphtali and Gad were excited about being old enough to help their Abba with his plans.
Laban called Jacob over to where he was sheering the sheep. He did this right before breeding season, so Jacob was expecting him to try and take advantage of him again. He would not be disappointed.
“This year you will take only the black sheep.”
“That was not our agreement” replied Jacob.
“I’m modifying it. You took too many lambs last year. I don’t know how you managed it, but my flock barely grew at all. Yours nearly doubled!”
“My God is blessing me for my service. I will take only the black sheep and we will see what He blesses me with this season.”
When Jacob got back to his camp, he doubled the number of sticks each of his sons would carry. He hoped that this would increase the color in the coat and turn the lambs all black. It might make it harder for the children to ‘pretend’ to be playing with sticks if they were caught.
Jacob didn’t need to worry about his sons being caught. Laban’s shepherds were used to seeing the children playing around the water holes. They paid them no attention at all; only an occasional wave was exchanged.
As the lambs began to drop, more than half of them were black. Laban was furious! “How does he do it?” Half way through the season, Laban can stand it no more. He comes to Jacob.
“There is something wrong. Never have my sheep had so many black sheep! You must have done something.”
“It is my God’s favor. His hand blesses me.”
“Let Him give you the striped lambs then. The rest of the black ones belong to me.”
Jacob shook his head. He would not argue. The sticks had already been laid. The mating season was God’s over. He would again leave it in hands.
The very next week, the number of black sheep dropped down to nothing. And the number of striped sheep grew. Laban was furious! When there was only one more month left of lambing season, Laban went back to Jacob. “You can have the black ones as before. I will keep the striped ones.”
Not another striped sheep was born after that night. Nine out of every ten sheep were born black; pure black. Laban had even fewer sheep than the previous year, even though he changed Jacob’s wages twice in this single season, plus changed it before the season started.
Jacob’s own sheep bore striped, spotted and black sheep only. Not a single sheep from Jacob’s flock was white.
(to be continued)
I am going to break here. We still have several more seasons to go through to complete the 20 years Jacob spent in Haran. During these years, we will also have several more children to go with Jacob to meet his God. I’m wondering what lessons they will learn; and me too.
In case you are wondering, I have NO idea what lesson each child will learn on their turn to the altar. I honestly am given the story as it happens. I am blown away by the Spirit as He leads me through lessons beside Jacob’s children. I was actually aiming for Gad to learn about thankfulness. God had other ideas.
Father God, thank You for leading me in Your stories. I am amazed at the places You take me. I’m looking forward to resuming our journey. And I will cherish the lessons You have taught me ‘through the eyes of a child’.
